


Your Guardian Angel

by WhispersInTheWing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Car Sex, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Graphic Violence, Hospitalization, M/M, Minor Character Death, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, fan fiction, wingkink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhispersInTheWing/pseuds/WhispersInTheWing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean Winchester are hot on the trail of the Colt, but before they can reach the small town of Lynden, Washington where the gun was last seen, a terrifying phone call starts a chain reaction that not only impacts Sam and Dean, but the angel Castiel as well. Can the power of true love save them before it's too late? And what will happen when one of them finally admits a secret that has been locked away for years? Only time will tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Dreamed A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Destiel fanfic. I don't own any of the characters from Supernatural, they belong to Kripke and the creators of the show. Everything else, including but not limited to: the plot and other characters are of my own twisted creation. :) Reviews and kudos are appreciated! Tell your friends and I hope you enjoy! :)

A tangle of limbs, pale white skin against tanned. Steam fogged the windows of the black ’67 Chevy Impala, obscuring the passion-locked figures within. The full moon hung high in the clear night sky, bathing the two in soft white light. Dean towered over his mystery lover on strong arms; sweat dripping from their bodies as he thrusted hard and fast. The smell of sweat and spice permeated his nostrils and gave him an addictive head rush. His lips trailed over his lover’s throat and he smiled. “Don’t ever leave me,” He whispered softly. “I need you. I love you.”  
“Dean! Dean!” A man’s familiar voice echoed all around him, interrupting the intimate moment. Dean growled and reluctantly pulled his gaze from his lover to search out the source of the sound. Whose ass was he going to have to kick for cock-blocking him in his own dream?  
 _“Dean, wake up!”_ Dean Winchester jolted upright in bed with a gasp, drawing the .45 he kept under his pillow. The dream had already begun fading from the forefront of his mind and he was quickly losing details. He closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath and calm his racing heart, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. His younger brother Sam raised an eyebrow questioningly at him from the bathroom doorway; a towel wrapped around his hips and another draped across his shoulders.  
“You okay there, Dean?” Sam asked, hoping that nothing was wrong. Dean usually wasn’t so hard to get up, and he never pulled his gun when Sam woke him.  
“Yeah, just another nightmare,” Dean replied, the lie slipping off his tongue like turpentine.  
“Was it about the apocalypse? I’ve had my share of those lately too.” Sam shrugged and let the topic drop. He knew Dean didn’t want to talk about it. He hated chick-flick moments more than vengeful spirits and Demons combined. Dean Winchester didn’t do feelings.  
“Well, the shower’s all yours. We gotta hit the road soon,” Sam stated as he moved towards the other bed. “Bobby called and said he got a lead on the location of the Colt. But he says we have to leave today if we want to catch the demon that has it.”  
Sam looked over and sighed. Dean was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at the crumpled blanket covering his lap. “Did you even hear what I said, Dean? We got a lead on the Colt.”  
Dean nodded his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I heard you Sammy. Bobby got a lead on the Colt, says we gotta leave today to catch it,” Dean remarked with a shrug. “Give me 10 minutes to shower and then we can head out.”  
“That’s fine, it’ll give me time to load up the car,” Sam said with a smile.  
Dean threw off the blankets and climbed out of bed. Pieces of his dream continued to flash in and out of his mind as he made his way to the bathroom in the small motel in a Podunk town in Eastern Washington. He didn’t usually have dreams like that; where he couldn’t see the other person’s face. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a dream he couldn’t recall the next morning. It was as if Dean couldn’t see the person’s true form.  
 _Almost like … an Angel._ Dean scrubbed a hand over his jaw with an exasperated sigh. “Great, I’m having sex dreams about Anna again,” Dean muttered to his reflection. Dean and Sam hadn’t seen neither hide nor hair of Anna since she regained her grace and disappeared almost 5 months ago. He made a mental note to ask Castiel about Anna later once he’d had a chance to mull the dream over. He leaned over into the tub and started the water, letting it warm up to the perfect temperature.  
Dean stripped out of his old, worn t-shirt and sweats and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water cascade over him. The water relaxed the knots from his tired muscles and Dean let out a long sigh of relief. _Man, I forgot how good a shower can make me feel after a long night._ Dean thought with a relaxed smile.  
Dean sang Scorpions’ Rock You like a Hurricane as he scrubbed the layer of sweat, dirt and blood from the last hunt from his skin; his rich tenor voice filling the room.  
“I haven’t seen Anna since she disappeared,” A deep voice said suddenly. Dean jumped, almost slipping in the slick tub; his heart racing.  
“Jesus Christ Cass! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” Dean shouted. He pulled back the curtain a little and stuck his head out. Castiel stood between the sink and the door, looking for all the world like it wasn’t strange to be in the bathroom while another man showered.  
“I find no need for knocking. You wanted to ask me something and I answered. Knocking had nothing to do with your question,” Castiel remarked. “I have been keeping a watchful eye out for Anna, but know that I am not the only one. Zachariah is searching for her, as well as Raphael and Bartholomew,” Castiel stated.  
Dean sighed, swiping the water from his eyes. “Thanks for that. Now will you please get the hell out?” Dean growled in annoyance, stepping back into the shower fully. He squirted shampoo into his hands and lathered it up, massaging it into his scalp. He didn’t have time for this.  
“There is one other thing; your dream was not about Anna,” Castiel muttered.  
Dean stuck his head out again, shampoo dripping down the sides of his face. “What are you talking about Cass? How do you know about the dream? And what do you mean it’s not about Anna?”  
“Whenever an Angel enters a human’s dream, they leave an echo of their Grace behind. If it had been Anna in your dream, I would have been able to use the echo to track her down. There is no trace of Grace in here. Your dream had to have been about someone else; it might not have been an Angel at all.”  
Dean didn’t miss the small blush that bloomed on Castiel’s cheeks. “That still doesn’t explain how you know about the dream in the first place,” Dean remarked with a smirk as he went back to showering. He really didn’t have time to have this conversation with Castiel the Cryptic Angel, when the Colt could already be on the road before they even got close to it.  
“I heard you talking to yourself in the mirror.” Castiel stated simply.  
Dean paused in the middle of rinsing out his hair. “You can hear me even when you’re not around?”  
“Of course I can. I am tuned in to both you and Sam at all times, in case you need my assistance,” Castiel said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’ll wait out in the other room for you to finish up.” The door opened and closed, and Dean was alone again.  
He could hear Castiel and Sam talking in the other room and couldn’t help but smile to himself. Yeah, Castiel annoyed him sometimes, but the Angel had saved his butt more times than he could remember, and Dean was more than grateful for it. It had been a long time since Castiel had been on Earth in a vessel, so Dean often found himself cutting Cass slack. He would never be able to repay Castiel for everything he’d done for him and Sam. But he would sure as hell try until his last breath.  
Dean sighed and finished his shower. He grabbed a towel from the pile on the sink and wrapped it around his hips. He absentmindedly rubbed the anti-possession tattoo on his chest as he brushed his teeth. It was times like this that Dean could almost pretend that everything was normal; that he didn’t spend his life hunting monsters with his pain-in-the-ass little brother and sleeping in crappy motel rooms across the country. His thoughts drifted back to Lisa and Ben; the only thing close to a normal life he’d ever had. Dean dried himself off and slipped on a pair of jeans, deciding to go commando and forgo boxers, and left the bathroom.  
“You ready to hit the road?” Sam asked from his perch atop the dresser. He had his computer open on his lap, probably searching through databanks and archives looking for any signs of what could possibly be the Colt.  
“Yeah almost, I’m just gonna make a call first.” Dean grabbed his phone from the bedside table. Dean shrugged on his favorite gray Henley and stepped outside, shutting the door softly behind him. He dialed Lisa’s number and waited as it rang.  
“Hello?” Lisa answered sleepily on the fourth ring.  
“Hey Lisa, it’s me Dean,” He began.  
“Dean? It’s 5:30 in the morning. Why are you calling?” Lisa asked, stifling a yawn. Dean hadn’t even realized how early it was, as he and Sam had always started the day at the crack of dawn.  
“Sorry Lisa, I didn’t realize the time. I just wanted to call and wish Ben a happy birthday. I’m sorry I didn’t call last week, Bobby got sick and ended up in the hospital; Sam and I were with him and I forgot about Ben’s birthday. Tell him that his gift is in the mail. I hope he likes it.”  
“Dean … Ben’s birthday was two months ago. We haven’t heard from you in almost a year and then you just call us up out of the blue? I love you Dean, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep waiting around for you to find the time to see us. I’m tired of waiting for you Dean. I have needs, and Ben needs a father figure in his life. I’m sorry … it’s over. Goodbye.” Lisa hung up, leaving Dean to reply to the dial tone. The phone fell from Dean’s hand and landed on the concrete, breaking into a dozen pieces. Dean fell to his knees on the ground, his head in his hands.  
 _This can’t be happening. It has to be some kind of mistake._ Dean’s internal monologue mocked him, reminding him of the apple-pie life he desperately wanted but didn’t think he deserved.  
The door behind him opened with a squeak and Castiel’s feet came into view. “Is everything okay Dean? I heard you cry out,” Castiel pondered to the hunter kneeling before him.  
“Lisa just broke up with me. I missed Ben’s birthday again, and she dumped me. Said she was tired of waiting around for me to find the time to see her. Go back inside Cass, I’m fine,” Dean muttered. Tears slid unnoticed down his cheeks.  
Castiel dropped to his knees beside Dean and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shuddering form. “It will be okay Dean. You were not right for each other. Lisa didn’t understand you or the life you live. This would’ve happened eventually. If you think about it, it’s better this way. At least Lisa and Ben won’t be in danger anymore.” Castiel rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Dean. I know you loved them both very much.”  
“Thanks for being here Castiel,” Dean said softly. He wasn’t big on chick-flick moments, but he couldn’t help but unload years of pent-up emotion on his Angel.  
Castiel tightened his grip around Dean. “I will always be where you need me. That’s my job.” He wiped a stray tear away with his thumb, giving Dean a comforting smile. As the last of the tears dried from Dean’s face, Castiel helped him to his feet and the two of them walked back into their room.  
“You okay Dean?” Sam asked as they sat down on Dean’s bed.  
“Yeah, I guess so. I had a fight with Lisa and she dumped me. But I’m fine dude, don’t worry,” Dean replied, shrugging his shoulders. He reached into his duffel bag and holstered his gun.  
“Wow man, that’s tough. Sorry to hear that,” Sam remarked. “But hey, Bobby called again; gave me the town where we can find the Colt.”  
“Well? Where is it?” Dean asked.  
“Someplace called Lynden, Washington,” Sam said, turning his laptop around to show Dean a map. “It’s a real religious town. The type with a church on every corner and everything closed on Sundays. A hunter by the name of Molly Johnston says she spotted a demon take down an Alpha with the Colt yesterday. If we hurry and drive all night, we can make it there by tomorrow morning.”  
“Why’s a demon killing an Alpha?” Dean questioned with a scoff.  
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a territorial thing. Who knows? It could be anything.” Sam shrugged. He stuffed the rest of his clothes and gear in his duffel bag and tossed it near the door.  
“It could all be a distraction orchestrated by Meg or Crowley. We won’t know for sure until we get there,” Castiel remarked. “But I know of that town. I was there back in the 1900’s, and it probably hasn’t changed much since then. I’m a little saddened to know that they’re having demon problems like the rest of the country. The citizens there are good, God-loving people.”  
“Too bad demons don’t discriminate based on a person’s love of God,” Sam laughed nervously out of habit.  
“What kind of crack is that supposed to be Sam?” Castiel pondered as he stood up from the bed. Sam wasn’t the first hunter to brush off someone’s beliefs when it came to demons and possessions, but something about the way he said it, made Castiel see red.  
“Whoa, calm down Cass. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Sam held up his hands in surrender, hoping to diffuse the odd situation. It was so unlike Cass to freak out like that; the Angel was usually so mellow and even-tempered. Even Dean raised an eyebrow in confusion.  
“What is it with you hunters, that you can’t believe that some people need religion to feel safe?! God will protect those who follow His word, even though demons nip at their heels and knock on their doors! I’m sorry if you don’t believe in prayer and God … but thankfully others do! Have you ever stopped to think that if it weren’t for God, I wouldn’t be here to protect your asses?! You two are so ungrateful sometimes! I’m out of here!” And with that, Castiel stormed from the hotel room, slamming the door behind him.


	2. The Call

Sam was the first to break the stifling silence that followed in the wake of Castiel’s sudden departure. “What the hell was that about?”  
“I have no idea Sam. I’ve never seen Cass act like that before,” Dean replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m going to go after him before he gets himself hurt or in trouble.”  
Dean stood and threw open the door, expecting to find Castiel standing on the other side brooding, hands shoved into the pockets of his trench coat. Instead, the only thing that greeted him was a blast of cold winter wind. Dean stuck his head out the door and looked in either direction. There was no sign of Castiel anywhere.  
“Well, is he out there?” Sam wondered as he closed his laptop and stretched out his long legs.  
“No, dude he’s not. I don’t know where he could’ve gone. I’m worried about him Sam; he’s never acted like that before. And he should know that between the two of us, you’re the one who actually believes in God.” Dean closed the door and leaned against the wood. He hoped Castiel would be fine on his own while they tracked down the Colt. “Once he calms down, he’ll know where to find us. Let’s pack up and hit the road.”

 

It was just over an hour into their drive west when Dean’s cell phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket, but whoever was on the other end had hung up before he could answer. “They must’ve been a wrong number or something.” Just as Dean went to put his phone back in his pocket, it rang again.  
Dean picked up after the first ring. “Hello?”  
“D-Dean, is that you?” A faint voice asked.  
“Cass, where the hell have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you,” Dean said, looking behind him in the rearview mirror. The last thing they needed was to get pulled over by some backwoods Barney Fife.  
“I don’t know where I am. Dean, I-I don’t know what happened.” There was a long pause, and Dean wondered if the call had dropped. “My head hurts real badly,” Castiel whispered.  
Dean scoffed. “Angels don’t get headaches. What the hell is going on with you Cass?”  
“Dean, please. I need help. I need you,” Castiel whimpered, his voice thick with pain. It was at that moment that Dean realized something was terribly wrong with Castiel. Dean had never heard Cass sound so helpless and scared and so … human.  
Dean whipped the car to a stop on the side of the road. He reached behind him and grabbed Sam’s laptop from the backseat. He shoved it into his brother’s hands with a steely gaze.  
“I need you to track the GPS on Cass’s phone,” Dean muttered as he put the phone back up to his ear. “Cass? Cass, are you still there?”  
“Y-yes, I’m here. What’s wrong with me Dean?” Dean could hear the fear in the Angel’s voice through the phone and his chest constricted painfully.  
“I don’t know yet, Cass. I got Sam working on tracking your phone; we’ll be there as soon as we can. Just hang on buddy. Hang on.” Dean closed his eyes and held his breath. It was like he was living in a nightmare, and all he wanted to do was wake up. He felt the sting of tears in the back of his eyes and shoved his fist to his mouth, holding back a sob.  
“I got it!” Sam finally said after what felt like an eternity, when in reality it was only about two minutes. “He’s on Evergreen Road; it’s about 10 minutes south of here. At the next road, turn left.”  
“You hear that Cass? We’re on our way. Just hang on buddy,” Dean said into the phone. But whether Castiel heard him or not, he had no idea. He just prayed they would get to Cass in time. He prayed they could figure out what was wrong before it was too late.

0-0-0-0-0

A drive that would usually take 10 minutes only took Dean 5 as he sped down the back country road, blowing through stop signs and getting more than a few one finger salutes from other drivers. “Screw you ass-hat!” Dean shouted out the window at a particularly impatient driver. Dean brought the Impala to a stop behind an older Ford station wagon at the mouth of a long paved driveway. He sucked in a sharp breath and felt the telltale sting of tears in his eyes.  
The first thing he saw was the blood; the crimson pool about ten feet up the driveway from the car, and the trail leading back. What he didn’t see was the bloodied piece of wood that lay near the rear tire. There was no sign of Castiel, and that scared the living daylights out of Dean. He threw the car in park and jumped out, racing towards the open back door. “Cass! Cass!” Dean shouted as he ran.  
He came to a stop, his feet sliding in the still wet blood. Dean bit back a gag and a sob as he took in the scene inside the car. Castiel lay in a limp heap on the backseat, his arm over his face and blood pouring from multiple wounds in his head. His skin was ghostly white and it didn’t look like he was breathing. Dean fell to his knees and felt the breath leave his lungs as he stared down at Cass’s prone form. “Cass?” Dean whispered through a throat thick with unshed tears. He got no response, and the tears finally spilled over, falling unnoticed down his cheeks.  
Sam got out of the car, his hand on the gun in his waistband, his eyes scouring the area for any signs of danger. Dean’s heart-wrenching sobs pulled him from his patrol, and Sam ran to his brother’s aid. He’d never heard his brother cry like that, not even when they lost their father. “Dean!” Sam called as he approached.  
“Sammy,” Dean replied, his voice cracking. “Call 9-1-1. Cass is hurt bad.”  
Sam moved to the other side of the car and opened the other back door. He bent down and placed his hand on Castiel’s neck, searching for a pulse. “He’s got a pulse, but it’s weak. Cass, can you hear me? It’s Sam and Dean. Wake up Cass,” Sam said, shaking Castiel’s shoulder gently.  
“Sam? Dean?” Castiel wheezed. “My … grace … is … gone.”  
“What do you mean gone? Did someone take it?” Sam questioned calmly. He knew he needed to be the calm one in the situation, because there was no way Dean could.  
Sam pulled out his cell and dialed 911, keeping a hand on Cass’s pulse. “Hello? Yes, we need help. Our brother is hurt badly, he’s bleeding heavily; from his head. I think someone attacked him. We’re on Evergreen Road, in a dark blue station wagon. Please hurry!”  
“Sam,” Castiel murmured, his words slurred. “M’sorry I yelled at you. I dn’know what got into me. Didn’t feel like me.”  
Sam rested his free hand on Castiel’s shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize to me Cass.” He paused, a realization suddenly hitting him like a Mac truck. “Cass, I need you to open your eyes for me.”  
Castiel shook his head and winced at the pain it caused. “No … hurts too much.”  
“I know it hurts, but you gotta do it for me. I need you to open your eyes and look at Dean,” Sam repeated more forcibly. “When he does, tell me what you see Dean.”  
Castiel slowly moved his arm from his face and opened his eyes, searching out Dean’s face. “Dean … m’head hurts. Can’t see straight.”  
Dean reached out and placed a hand on Castiel’s leg. “I know it does buddy. You can close your eyes again.” He looked up at Sam after he was sure Cass couldn’t see him, and shook his head grimly. “His pupils are completely blown out. What’s wrong with him Sam?”  
Sam’s reply was cut off as Castiel started seizing violently. “Shit! This is what I was afraid of!” Sam cursed as he pulled his hand away from Castiel’s neck.  
“Do something Sam! Help him!” Dean cried, pleading desperately to his little brother.  
Sam looked at Dean, completely thrown off guard by this vulnerable side of his brother he’d never seen before. “There’s nothing I can do right now Dean. We have to wait and let the seizure run its course. But I think it’s an aneurysm. The signs are all there: traumatic head injury, severe headache, trouble speaking, dilated pupils, blurred vision, and seizure. But the ambulance is on its way. Cass is going to be fine, Dean. I promise.”  
“Why would someone want to hurt Cass like this?” Dean muttered to no one in particular. He was speaking the question that hung in the air between them. Speaking what neither of them really wanted to hear the answer to. There was a long list of creatures hunting Castiel, both good and evil, but the boys didn’t know anyone who would steal his Grace and then torture the Angel with a slow, agonizing beating.  
“I wish I knew Dean. I wish I knew.” Sam rested his head against the car and took a deep breath as they waited for the seizure to subside. Dean kept his eyes closed, tears streaming down his face. The 911 operator had told Sam that the nearest hospital was at least half an hour away and there was no way he could tell Dean that. It would break his brother.  
When the seizure finally subsided, Sam checked Castiel’s pulse again. It was as much to assure Dean, as it was to assure himself that Cass was still with them. The pulse he managed to find was weaker than before, and Sam bit back a sob. “Hang in there Cass. Help is on the way, and we’re right here with you. We won’t leave you Cass … ever.” Sam kept a comforting hand on Castiel’s back, reminding him that he wasn’t alone.   
Sam listened to Castiel’s shallow, uneven breathing even through two bouts of vomiting and another seizure, until the shrill sirens broke the silent air a few minutes later. It seemed that they were closer than Sam initially thought. He stood and moved to Dean’s side, allowing the two EMTs who jumped out of the back of the ambulance room to work. Sam pulled Dean away from the car and out of the way.  
“What happened here?” One of the medics questioned as they began working to stabilize Castiel.  
“We’re not entirely sure,” Sam stated. “He called us about 20 minutes ago saying that he had a headache and he didn’t know where he was or remember how he got there. I was able to track the GPS on his phone and that’s how we found where he was. We found him like this. His pupils are blown out and … he’s had two seizures not long before you showed up.”  
The medic nodded at Sam’s explanation. “How old is he?”  
“He’s 27,” Sam supplied. “Is he going to be okay?”  
“It’s too early to say for sure, but we’re going to do everything we can for him. Do you know what he was struck with?”  
“I-I think so. There’s a piece of wood covered in blood by the back tire. I saw it when I walked up.” Sam put his arm around Dean’s shaking shoulders as he told the medics everything he knew.  
“He’s stable. Let’s get him loaded up,” The medic stated to her partner.  
Dean looked up at her words and spoke for the first time since the EMTs arrived. “I’m riding with him.”  
“I’m sorry, but there’s not enough room for you to ride in back with him,” She explained. “You’ll have to follow in your car.” The two medics slid a backboard under Castiel’s unmoving form and moved him onto the stretcher. They rushed the stretcher to the back of the ambulance and loaded it quickly. “If you’re going to follow, you better get in your car now. We’re leaving.”  
Sam grabbed the car keys from Dean’s pocket; his brother was in no position to be behind the wheel. The younger Winchester’s mind was racing a million miles a minute as he struggled to stay calm and not rip his hair out. His long legs felt full of lead as he pulled Dean back to the Impala. He stole glances at his brother as they slipped into the front seats. Dean had a dull “thousand yard stare” in his usually bright green eyes, and looked permanently on the verge of having a full-blown mental break.  
“Cass is going to be okay Dean. He’s a fighter; he’ll come back from this,” Sam said softly. He needed to hear the words as much as Dean did, and though his voice was steady and sure, Sam didn’t feel any less worried. He cranked the engine and followed the ambulance as it headed south.  
“He’s dying Sammy,” Dean whispered, his voice trembling. “Two days ago, we were hunting a Windigo, and now … now Cass is … dying. What do we do, Sammy?”  
Sam stole another glance at Dean out of the corner of his eye. Dean rested his head against the window and stared out the windshield, not looking at anything in particular. _I wish dad was still here. He’d know what to say. He’d know how to get Dean to calm down. I’m no good at this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. It really starts to pick up after this, so be prepared for a wild ride!


	3. Are We The Waiting

Sam raised his head for what felt like the billionth time every time the double doors separating the waiting room from the ER opened, hoping that it would be Castiel’s doctor with good news. So far they hadn’t been approached by anyone, save for a nurse who handed them a clipboard with paperwork to be filled out. What do I put for his name? Sam had asked Dean that over an hour ago, and all he got in response was a moan. So he just put down the first name that came to his mind; Jimmy, the name of Castiel’s vessel.  
“Do you want some coffee or something?” Sam asked as he sat down after handing the clipboard back to the nurse.  
“Leave me alone Sammy,” Dean muttered. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the double doors since they’d arrived. He’d barely said more than a couple words to Sam; he just sat in the blue plastic chair, wringing his hands. “It’s been over an hour! Why won’t they tell us what’s going on?! What kind of fucking hospital IS THIS?!” Dean exploded in rage, his body trembling.  
The few people occupying the waiting room turned towards the sound of Dean shouting. The nurse behind the desk stood and warily eyed the security guard standing near the front entrance. Sam mouthed an apology at the nurse and she reluctantly sat back down and resumed her work.  
“Dude, you’ve got to calm down before they escort you out of here.” Sam placed a hand on Dean’s arm and pulled him down to the chair. Dean dropped his head into his hands and openly sobbed.  
“Winchester?” A soft feminine voice asked, pulling both boys from their thoughts.  
Dean was the first one to his feet, towering over the petite woman in green scrubs and a white coat. “That’s us. Are you Jimmy’s doctor? How is he?” Dean asked frantically.  
“Yes, I’m Jimmy’s doctor; my name is Lizzie Dixon. What is your relationship to the patient?” Dr. Collins wondered as she stared up at the two boys.  
“He’s our brother. Please, he’s the only family we got left. Is he okay?” Sam provided, using his patented puppy dog eyes on the doctor.  
“We finally got him stabilized. There were some touch and go moments for a while, but I think we’ve got it under control. Jimmy is still unconscious. He’s up in imaging right now getting an MRI and a CAT scan of his head. Once we get those back and get a clear look at the extent of the damage, he’ll most likely be transferred to Harborview in Seattle,” Dr. Dixon explained. She kept her gaze steady as she spoke, giving equal eye contact to both Winchesters.  
“Can we see him before he leaves?” Dean asked quietly, his lip still trembling slightly.  
She thought for a moment before nodding. “I don’t usually do this but, given the circumstances, why don’t you boys come up to imaging with me and you can see your brother then? He should almost be done.”  
Dean breathed a sigh of relief and hugged the doctor to his chest. “Thank you! Thank you so much.”  
“It’s no problem, really. We’d better hurry though if you want to have time to talk to him. Follow me.” Dr. Dixon motioned and the Winchesters followed her to the elevators. No one said a word as they boarded the elevator and Dr. Dixon pressed the appropriate button. It wasn’t until the doors slid shut did she speak.  
“You should prepare yourselves for what you’ll see. Like I said before, your brother is still unconscious. We’ve closed the wounds on his scalp, so at least you won’t have to see those. We’ve had to put Jimmy on a ventilator, so don’t be alarmed by that. Do you have any questions before we get there?”  
Sam shook his head; Dean remained silent. It was typical that when there was something Dean couldn’t handle, he retreated into himself and didn’t talk to anyone. It was something Sam was used to, so he didn’t try to talk to Dean. It would probably only make things worse.  
“Is he alright?” Dr. Dixon asked Sam as she glanced up at Dean. He stood in the corner of the elevator, his gaze never leaving his feet. His shoulders slumped in a mix of exhaustion, worry and defeat.  
Sam put a hand on the doctor’s shoulder. “He’s fine. That’s just how he copes with things. He and Jimmy are very close; it’s hitting him hard right now.” I can’t very well tell the doctor he’s worried because someone stole our Angel’s Grace. She’d have us both committed.  
“That’s understandable. Sometimes a patient’s family simply can’t deal with the severity of the situation, and require medical intervention. I just needed to make sure that wasn’t the case here,” Dr. Dixon replied with a soft smile.  
The elevator doors opened with a ping and Dr. Dixon led the two down a quiet hallway. Sam noted that Dean seemed to retreat even further into himself, and when he looked at his older brother, he looked tired. Dean looked more tired than Sam had ever seen him in his entire life. Sam wondered if his brother would ever be the same.  
The trio stopped in front of a closed door marked Imaging. “Wait out here while I go in and check on how the scans are coming along. I’ll be just a moment.” Dr. Dixon entered the room and closed the door softly behind her. In the second or two that the door was open, Dean saw an array of images on the screen in front of the doctors, and a choked moan escaped his lips.  
“Oh God, Sammy … this is really happening, isn’t it?” Dean said; his voice barely audible.  
“Yeah Dean, it is. But you know Cass. He’s strong, and he would never leave us. We need to be strong for him.” Sam wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze.  
“I don’t know if I can. I’ve never felt more helpless in my life.” Dean slumped against his brother, sobs wracking his body.  
“You can do this Dean, I know you can. Just think of all the things you and Cass haven’t done yet. All the things about being human you haven’t taught him yet. He was telling me just the other day that he wanted to go see the Grand Canyon. I was thinking we could take a few days off from hunting and go on a road trip, just the three of us. What do you say Dean?” Sam wondered, changing the subject subtly. He gave his brother a gentle smile.  
“That sounds great Sammy. Cass will really like that,” Dean replied with a shaky smile. He let out a long breath, his hands sliding through his hair.  
The door opened and Dr. Dixon stepped back out into the hallway. “They’re finishing the final scan now. There’s a room across the hall that we can use to give you some privacy.”  
“Thank you so much doctor. You’ve been so kind to us,” Sam said. Dr. Dixon nodded her head and motioned for the two boys to wait in the empty room. They entered the room and sat down in the empty chairs. Sam put his hand on Dean’s knee; the gesture conveying more than words ever could.  
A few more minutes passed before Dr. Dixon wheeled Castiel’s bed into the room. She positioned the bed and quickly checked his vitals before slipping from the room to give the family privacy.  
“Cass,” Dean whispered breathily, fresh tears falling down his face. “Cass, can you hear me? It’s Dean. Cass?” He grabbed Castiel’s hand in both of his and held it to his face.  
Sam rested his hand on Castiel’s leg before speaking. “Hey Cass, it’s me Sam. We’re right here. I know you can pull through this.” You have to. Sam left his last thought unspoken, knowing that his brother was thinking the same thing.  
“We need you Cass. I need you.” Dean repeated the words over and over, his eyes never leaving the Angel’s face. “They’re sending you to another hospital; a hospital that can take better care of you. Not that this hospital isn’t good, but it’s a small town and isn’t equipped for this. They’re flying you to Harborview in Seattle, on the other side of the mountains.” Dean was talking just to talk. He’d heard somewhere that when people were unconscious, talking to them helped wake them up. “And when you get better, we’ll go see the Space Needle and Pike Place Market and … and anywhere else you wanna go. I promise. Just please … get better.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand.  
“We’ll find who did this Cass. We’ll find out who did this and we’ll make them pay.” Sam’s voice was low, a barely suppressed growl.  
Dean glanced over at his younger brother, eyes wide at the rare display of pure rage. If anyone acted like that it was Dean, Sam was definitely the gentler of the two. Dean could see Sam’s hands shaking as he attempted to keep from punching the wall. “Sam, are you okay?” Dean asked softly.  
“I’m f-fine Dean. I just never thought something like this could happen to Cass. He never hurt anyone who didn’t rightfully deserve it,” Sam said through gritted teeth.  
“Sammy, go out and get some air or get a coffee. You need to calm down before you hurt someone.” Dean stood and moved to his brother’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Besides, our time is probably up. They need to get Cass transported soon. We’ll say our goodbyes and head out to Seattle. Okay?” Dean held back a chuckle at how quickly their roles had reversed. Not five minutes ago, Sam was the one comforting Dean and now Dean was doing it to Sam.  
“You’re right Dean,” Sam sighed, pushing his bangs from his forehead. He squeezed Castiel’s knee and let out a shuddering breath. “Okay Cass, we gotta get going. They’re going to come and get you ready for transport here in a few minutes. But don’t worry; we’ll be right there by your side when you wake up. I promise.” He stood and moved to the door. “I’ll give you some time alone to say goodbye. Take your time, and just meet me at the Impala.”  
“Thanks Sammy,” Dean replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! The next chapter...I hope you enjoyed reading it! <3


	4. Time After Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destiel becomes Canon. 'Nuff said :)

Dean waited until his brother had left the room before turning back to Castiel. “Hey Cass, now I don’t know if … if you can hear me or not, but I want you to know … how much you mean to me. You’ve done so much for me and Sammy, more than most others have. Most people would’ve given up on us by now … but not you Cass. You believe in us; you believe that we’re good people who are doing the right thing. You’re the only reason I get out of bed some days. You’re the one thing that drives me to keep going during hunts. I … I love you Castiel. I love you,” Dean whispered in a breathy laugh. It felt good to finally get that off his chest, to finally be able to be himself. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to the corner of Castiel’s mouth, mindful of the ventilator that was keeping him alive. “You are my world Castiel. You put up with me even with all of my flaws. You are amazing.” He squeezed Castiel’s hand as he spoke. “I love you.”  
Dean sat in silence for another 5 minutes before there was a tentative knock on the door, and Dr. Dixon stepped into the room. “Hey there Dean, I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to get Jimmy to Harborview. But don’t worry you’ll see him again in a few hours. I’ve already informed the attending, Dr. Collins, that you and Sam will be arriving there sometime today, and to brief you on Jimmy’s condition when you arrive,” Dr. Dixon explained.  
“Thank you Lizzie. I know he’s in good hands.” Dean stood and watched as two orderlies entered and wheeled Castiel away. He clenched his hands at his sides, trying to stave off the flood of tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. He wouldn’t cry anymore. Castiel needed him to be strong; he would be strong for the man he loved.  
Dean walked briskly from the room, making his way down to where he’d parked the car. When he arrived at the Impala, Sam was already waiting for him in the passenger seat, gripping a Styrofoam cup of coffee in his hands. Dean noted that Sam still looked like he was about to punch something … or someone.  
“You okay Dean?” Sam asked as Dean slid into the driver’s seat.  
“Yeah I’m okay now. Are you okay Sammy?” Dean asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.  
“No,” Sam whispered harshly. He turned his head and stared out the window, shutting Dean out.  
Dean sighed; this was so unlike Sam to not want to talk about his feelings. Usually he was all for turning their car rides into chick flick moments, but now he was acting like an angst ridden teenager. If this kept up any longer, Dean would end up making Sam walk the rest of the way to Seattle.  
“So what are we thinking? Archangels? Demons? Maybe a Coven? Come on Sammy, say something,” Dean wondered. He flicked his gaze to Sam briefly, hoping that the prospect of finding out the culprit would bring Sam out of his funk.  
“An Archangel is probably our best bet. You know those assholes upstairs don’t like that Cass is helping us and not them. I say we find the nearest Angel and make him talk. Make him tell us what’s being broadcast on Angel radio,” Sam said tersely.  
Dean gaped at Sam. “Sam, please tell me you’re not saying what I think you’re saying.”  
“If you think I’m saying that we do whatever we can to find those responsible for almost killing the closest thing we have to family these days … then yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Sam growled. “We can’t let them get away with this, Dean. Cass almost died. He almost died Dean. He almost died alone in some station wagon on some back road in the middle of fucking nowhere! Why are you not livid about this Dean?! Don’t you love him?”  
Dean slammed on the brakes. The car came to a stop on the side of the road with a squeal of tires. “Of course I love him! How dare you ask me that Sam?” Dean shouted thunderously. He threw the car door opened and jumped out, Sam doing the same. There was about to be a showdown, that much was certain.  
“How dare I?!” Sam said just as loud. They met by the front bumper, hands shaking as they both struggled to keep from striking out. “How dare I?! Dean, don’t you realize how serious this situation is? Castiel almost died today! We need to find out who and why as soon as possible! I would think you of all people would be up for a little torture.”  
Dean stared at Sam, anger flashing in his emerald green eyes. He grabbed Sam by the shirt and shook him. “Don’t ever say that to me again, you son of a bitch! I hated Hell and everything I had to do to those poor souls!” Dean shoved Sam to the ground with a huff. “Do you really think I don’t realize what’s happening? I do, Sam. I know what we have to do, but I’m not going to torture some innocent Angel who has nothing to do with this. That makes me no better than whoever did this to Cass! And I won’t let myself slip back into darkness. I won’t!”  
Sam rose unsteadily to his feet, slipping into a defensive stance. He wasn’t sure what Dean was going to do, but he was going to be prepared. “There’s more to this that you’re not telling me. What’s the whole story Dean? I know you’re hiding something. Tell me.”  
Dean let out a long breath and leaned against the hood of the Impala. He stared down at the ground, struggling to find the right words. When he turned his gaze back to Sam, Sam saw tears in his older brother’s eyes.  
“I love him Sammy. I love him more than words can begin to say.”  
Sam leaned against the hood, crossing his arms over his chest. “How long have you known you were, you know … gay?”  
“I think I’ve always kind of known. I was never really attracted to girls. But I was afraid of what dad would think of me if he knew, so I kept it hidden. I acted like everything was normal. All I could imagine was what he would say; the names he would call me if he ever found out. “No son of mine is going to be some goddamn fairy boy! Hunters are supposed to be tough, strong. You’re nothing but a pansy! Leave and never come back!” I tried to act like he did around women, and after a while … it stuck. It became the norm for me, even after dad died. That all changed when I met Castiel. He woke something up in me that had been dormant for so long.” Dean spoke softly, but his words were loud nonetheless. Tears flowed uninhibited down his face.  
“Wow,” was Sam’s reply.  
Dean waited for Sam to give voice to the thoughts that tormented Dean since he was a kid. He waited for Sam to tear him down, to belittle him like he always assumed his father would. But those words never came. Instead, Sam’s next sentence blindsided Dean.  
“Well, as long as you’re happy.” Sam placed his arm around his brother’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “That’s all that matters Dean. I always thought you and Cass would make a cute couple. He loves you just as much as you love him. And as much as I want to tell you that dad wouldn’t have reacted that way, we both know he would’ve; if not worse. But who cares what dad might’ve said. You don’t need dad’s approval to live life. The important thing is you being happy. Never be ashamed of yourself.”  
“Do you really think he loves me Sammy?” Dean wondered, wiping the tears from his cheeks.  
“Yeah, I do. You’d have to be blind not to see how much Castiel loves and cares about you. I mean Jesus Dean; he brought you back from Hell! Castiel risked his life to raise you from Perdition. He would die for you.”  
The brothers embraced, Dean sobbing into Sam’s shoulder. After years of keeping his true self in the dark, Dean was free. He cried tears of joy for the future he was going to have with Cass. He cried tears of relief at finally taking the weight off his shoulders. And he cried tears of fear at the very real possibility of losing Cass forever.  
“Come on bro, let’s hit the road. We wanna be there when Cass wakes up,” Sam said as he pulled back. “And I got you a little pick-me-up back at the hospital.”  
They both got back in the car, the air no longer a ticking time bomb. Sam reached into the backseat and grabbed a Styrofoam container. He handed it to Dean with a huge grin.  
Dean chuckled as he opened the container. “Is this strawberry rhubarb pie? I can’t believe they had this in the hospital cafeteria. Thanks Sammy. Mom used to make the best strawberry rhubarb pie on the planet.”  
“Wanna switch seats so you can eat it?” Sammy asked, the goofy grin still plastered on his face.  
“Thanks Sam, I’d like that.” Dean smiled back at Sam as they got out of the car and switched seats. Dean slid into the passenger seat, setting the container on his lap. He couldn’t help the tear that slid down his cheek and dripped onto the pie. Sam gunned the engine and pulled back onto the main road.  
It was just after 6 in the evening when Sam took the exit into downtown Seattle. Dean slumbered in the seat beside him, his head resting against the window. His usually harsh features were gentled and smoothed in sleep, making Dean look younger than he was. It was a Dean that Sam never thought he’d see again; the years of hunting wearing down on him. Sam hoped that he would see this side of his brother more often, now that he had lifted the heavy weight from his shoulders.  
Sam turned into the parking garage at Harborview Medical Center, finding a space far enough away from the other cars so that the Impala wouldn’t get scratched. He shut off the engine and scrubbed his face with a free hand. He’d driven straight through the day to make it to Seattle as quickly as possible, and he was definitely feeling it now. Sam shook Dean’s shoulder gently, rousing him from his sleep.  
“Sam? Where are we? What time is it?” Dean asked sleepily. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he stretched his arms out.  
“We’re at the hospital in Seattle. It’s just after 6 p.m.,” Sam replied as he opened the car door. Dean slowly got out of the car, feeling his muscles slowly relax.  
“6 p.m.? Did you drive all day Sammy?”  
“Yeah I did. But I’m fine Dean, don’t worry about it.” Sam shrugged as they made their way to the elevator that would take them to the ground floor of the hospital.  
“You didn’t have to do that Sam. I would’ve been fine stopping for a break once we got over the pass.”  
“I didn’t want to stop,” Sam confessed as the elevator began its ascent. “I was afraid to stop. It sounds stupid, but I didn’t want to chance Cass waking up and us not being there. I didn’t want him to think we abandoned him.” Sam leaned against the wall, staring at the elevator doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though it never came up in the series, I always had a feeling that John was slightly homophobic. (Mostly because of being in the Marines and all that macho bull crap). So that's why I wrote the Impala scene the way I did. Dean's fear of what his father would've said shaped how Dean started and kept relationships. It's why he was "Love 'em and leave 'em" That's just my opinion though.


	5. Let It Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after I posted the last chapter, that it ended in a weird spot, so I apologize :3

They rode the elevator in silence, Dean too scared to say anything. He was scared of what would greet them when they got to Cass’s room. He was scared that the doctors would tell them that Cass would never wake up. Dean knew that Sam was scared too. The ding of the elevator doors opening pulled Dean and Sam from their thoughts. They approached the front desk.  
“Hello gentleman. How can I help you?” The woman asked as she hung up the phone.  
“Our brother was transferred here from a hospital in Eastern Washington. We were told that Dr. Collins would brief us on his condition,” Sam explained.  
“Can I get your names please?”  
“Sam and Dean Winchester; our brother’s name is Jimmy.”   
The woman typed quickly on her computer, her eyes scanning the record that popped up. “Okay, it looks like he was admitted here at about 4 p.m. and was taken up to the Intensive Care Unit for observation. I’ll page Dr. Collins and let her know that you’ve arrived. If you’ll have a seat in the waiting room, she’ll be right down.”  
Sam led Dean over to a pair of empty chairs in the corner of the crowded waiting room. Every pair of eyes followed them as they sat down. Dean resisted the urge to shoot a death glare at a particularly nosy old woman who stared at them from behind her thick-rimmed glasses.  
“I can’t wait to get out of here. These people are giving me the creeps,” Dean said with a suppressed shudder. All he wanted to do was be with Castiel; to let the angel know that he wasn’t alone anymore.  
“Winchester?” A woman in scrubs and a white coat asked as she entered the waiting room. Sam and Dean stood, making their way to the woman. She was nearly as tall as Dean, with chestnut brown hair pulled back in a bun.  
“That’s us. I’m Dean, and this is my brother Sam,” Dean stated.  
“I’m Dr. Shannon Collins; Dr. Dixon informed me that you would be coming.” Dr. Collins motioned for the boys to follow her. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to see him.”

 

Shannon stopped outside of the room in front of its window. Sam and Dean stood to either side, silent. Sam could hear Dean sniffle as he tried to keep his tears in check, as he tried to be strong for Castiel. It wasn’t long before Sam felt the hot sting of tears on his own cheeks.  
“He’s still unresponsive. We looked over the MRIs that Dr. Dixon sent over as well as did tests of our own. There is some swelling, but nothing too severe right now. As with any head injury, we’re monitoring Jimmy closely for signs that the swelling is getting worse,” She explained as simply as possible.  
“What happens if the swelling gets worse?” Sam asked, his brow furrowed in worry.  
“If that does happen, we’ll have to go in and surgically remove a section of his skull to allow the built up pressure somewhere to go; it’s a very standard procedure.”  
“Give it to us straight doc; is he going to wake up soon?” Dean questioned.  
Shannon paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. She didn’t want to give the young man false hope, but also didn’t want to devastate him. “Unfortunately, there’s no clear cut yes or no answer for that. The scans showed a large area of bruising that coincides with the blunt force trauma. Jimmy is in a coma while his brain attempts to heal on its own. Right now it’s very “wait and see” in terms of when he’ll wake up. But the best thing that the two of you can do for Jimmy is to just be there for him. Sit by his bedside and talk or read to him; let him know you’re there. Knowing that you are there will keep his subconscious mind from deteriorating. I’m sorry I don’t have better news for you.”  
“Can we go in now?” Sam wondered.  
“Of course you can. Visiting hours end at 10; a nurse will come and let you know when it’s time to leave.” Dr. Collins nodded. A few short beeps interrupting her before she could finish speaking and she looked down at her pager. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. If you have any questions speak to Nurse Wilson.” She turned and walked swiftly down the hall, disappearing around the corner.  
“Are you sure you’re up for this Dean?” Sam asked as he looked over at his brother. Dean had his forehead pressed against the glass, his eyes closed. He nodded slowly.  
The two of them walked through the sliding doors and into the dimly lit room. A single light above Castiel’s bed was the only illumination, making him look deathly pale. Dean rushed to Castiel’s bedside, collapsing in the nearest chair. His hand hovered over Cass’s cheek, afraid to touch him for fear of hurting him more. Sam followed more slowly and sank down in the empty chair on the opposite side of the bed.  
“Hey Cass, we’re back. Just like I promised we would be. And we’ll be right here when you wake up. We won’t leave … I promise,” Sam said softly. He stifled a yawn, the exhaustion finally catching up with him.  
“I miss you buddy. Get better soon, please. I wish we knew who did this to you Cass. I wish dad and Bobby were still alive to help us track them down. But Sam and I will find them. I promise you that, Cass. Sam and I won’t stop until we track down every last person that even knew about it,” Dean remarked, a tear sliding down his cheek.  
Sam stood from the chair and crossed to Dean’s side. “I’m gonna go down to the cafeteria and get us some coffee since we’re going to be here a while. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”  
“’Kay Sammy,” Dean muttered. He watched Sam shuffle out the door, exhaustion and worry weighing heavy on the young man’s shoulders. “Cass, I know I’ve messed up in the past and you’ve had to save my sorry ass more times than I died at Mystery Spot, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when this happened. I should’ve tried harder to find you. I should’ve kept you from walking out that door. I should’ve done a lot of things different since meeting you. But I didn’t … because I’m an idiot.” Dean ran his fingers over Castiel’s face, mindful of the ventilator taped into place.

 

Sam browsed the shelves in the gift shop, hoping to find something to brighten the hospital room where they’d be living for at least the next few weeks at least. As much as he wanted to be there for Dean and Castiel, Sam couldn’t stand to be in that room more than a few minutes without wanting to scream or break something. Sam had avoided hospitals ever since Dean had almost died in the car accident that ultimately took their father’s life. He settled on a few items and made his way to the counter to pay. The older woman at the counter smiled kindly at Sam and he found himself unable to return her smile. He grabbed his purchase and walked back up to the Intensive Care Unit.

 

Dean didn’t tear his gaze from Castiel as Sam reentered the room with a bag and two cups of coffee. Sam set a cup on the table by Dean’s elbow and pulled the things from the gift shop bag.  
“I bought some things at the gift shop. I thought they’d make the room feel less … cold.” Sam placed a small teddy bear on the table beside him and handed Dean a book.  
“What’s this for Sammy?” Dean asked as he read the title, Bram Stoker’s Dracula.  
“Dr. Collins said that we should read to Cass so he knows we’re here with him. She said it’ll help him stay himself while he’s unconscious. I thought you’d like it.”  
“I do like it Sam. Thanks for getting this. And you’re right; it’ll help for Cass to hear our voices.” Dean watched Sam stifle another yawn before taking a large gulp of his coffee. “You should go find a hotel and get some rest. You’re practically asleep on your feet.”  
“I think I’ll do that. Call me once visiting hours are over and I’ll come back and pick you up.” Sam grabbed the Impala keys from Dean and left to find a place to get some shuteye.  
The room fell into silence, the only sound the beeping of the heart monitor and the soft whoosh of the ventilator. Dean scrubbed his face with his hand, grimacing at the feel of scruff on his jaw. He was in desperate need of a shave and made a mental note to have Sam pick up razors and shaving cream on his way back. Dean finally picked up the book Sam had left him and opened it up to the first page.  
 _“Chapter 1: Jonathan Harker’s Journal. Left Munich at 8.35 p.m. on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6.46, but train was an hour late.”_ Dean’s rough voice filled the room as he read, his eyes flicking to Castiel’s face every so often. He knew it was fruitless to hope that he would wake up already, but Dean couldn’t help but hope.  
Dean continued to read, soon finding himself lost in the story. He hadn’t read Dracula since high school, and after years of hunting down real vampires, it hadn’t appealed to him as much. The minutes passed by quickly for Dean. He noticed that each time Nurse Wilson came in to check Castiel’s vitals, there was always another nurse with her, and they lingered in the room longer and longer. Finally, he stopped reading and turned to Nurse Wilson.  
“Why do you stay in here for so long after you’re done checking his vitals?” Dean questioned, dog-earing the page in the book so he wouldn’t lose his place.  
Nurse Wilson shooed the girl with her from the room and took a seat in the chair that Sam had vacated earlier. “I like hearing the sound of your voice,” She admitted truthfully. “You’re different from the families of the other patients. You understand how important it is for a comatose patient to be talked to and touched. It helps anchor them and gives them something to move towards when they’re well enough to wake up. It’s obvious you love your brother very much. I stay in here after I’m done checking his vitals because seeing you and him reminds me why I do what I do. Thank you, young man.”  
“Please Nurse Wilson, call me Dean. He and I didn’t always get along, and there were times when I’d wish that I didn’t know him. But now I can’t imagine my life without him. Cass has always been eager to put others before himself, even knowing that he could get hurt. He’s the kindest, gentlest, most caring person I have ever known. That’s why it sickens me to think that someone could do this to him; that someone could find a shred of hate towards him and harm him,” Dean explained misty eyed.  
“Please, call me Jody. Is Cass a nickname?” Jody wondered.  
“Yeah sort of,” Dean chuckled. “His middle name is Castiel, but everyone calls him Cass because he hates his first name.”  
Jody smiled and nodded. “Is it alright if I call him Cass?” She held Castiel’s hand and stroked her thumbs gently across the top.  
“Of course you can. I’d like that very much.”  
“Would you mind reading some of the book? I have a break right now and would love to hear more.”  
“Yeah, I don’t mind at all. I think Cass is responding to it, at least subconsciously.” Dean picked up the book and continued reading where he left off. _“God preserve my sanity, for to this I am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the past. Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for: that I may not go mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me…”_ Dean’s voice filled the room and surrounded them, taking away the clinical feel of the hospital and making it more like home.  
Jody took her leave a few minutes later, though she doubted Dean had noticed her departure. She paused at the doorway for a moment, taking in the scene. Dean leaned toward Castiel as he read, looking over and smiling at him when he got to a particularly good part. She knew her brother was in good hands with the young hunter, and vowed that she would aid him in any way she could to find those responsible for the attack. No one harmed an Angel and got away with it. Jody’s eyes flashed blue with rage briefly before she turned and resumed her work. She would reveal her true identity to the Winchesters soon.


	6. I'm Already There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This unfortunately is a bit of a filler chapter. Hope you all enjoy it regardless. :)

_“… I know I would if I were free—only I don’t want to be free. My dear, this quite upset me, and I feel I cannot write of happiness just at once, after telling you of it; and I don’t wish to tell of the number three till it can be all happy. Ever your loving, Lucy.”_ The sound of the sliding door and light footsteps brought Dean to a stop at the end of the page. He looked up to see Jody standing just inside the room.  
“Sorry to interrupt, but visiting hours are almost over. It’s time for you to leave for the night Dean. But don’t worry, I’m going to be checking in on him throughout the night, and I’ll call if anything happens,” Jody remarked, moving to check Castiel’s vitals while Dean was still there so he knew everything was stable.  
“Thanks Jody. I’ll say goodnight to Cass and get out of your hair. Can I have a few minutes alone?” Dean asked as he tucked the book into the pocket of his leather jacket.  
“That’s no problem at all, Dean. I’ll go check on my other patients to give you some privacy.” Jody smiled and left the room again.  
Dean turned back to Castiel and brushed his cheek. “Hey Cass, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. Visiting hours are over and I’m not allowed to stay. But Sam and I will be back first thing in the morning. Don’t wake up without me, okay? I want to be the first thing you see when you open your eyes. I love you so much.” Dean stood and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Castiel’s forehead. “Goodnight buddy; see you in the morning.”  
Dean pulled out his cellphone as he made his way back to the elevators. “Hey Sammy, it’s me. Yeah, visiting hours are over. Okay, see you soon.” He ended the call and pocketed his phone again. He stepped out the front doors of the hospital and waited for Sam to pick him up.

0-0-0-0-0

Dean was startled awake by the shrill ringing of his cell phone. He reached blindly for it, still half asleep. “Hello?” He growled into it as he brought it to his ear.  
“Dean, it’s Jody from the hospital,” She replied.  
Dean sat up in bed, now fully awake. “Is Cass okay? Did he wake up?” Dean asked frantically. He got up from the bed and began to search for his jeans. Sam stirred in the other bed but didn’t wake up.  
“The swelling in his brain got worse after you left and Dr. Collins took Castiel up for emergency surgery. You and your brother should get down here right away. Ask the nurse at the front desk to show you to the surgical waiting room. I need to get back to the O.R.,” Jody said before hanging up. Dean stood frozen in the middle of the hotel room, his jeans in his hand.  
“Dean?” Sam wondered groggily, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “It’s 3 in the morning. Who was that on the phone?”  
“Nurse Wilson,” Dean said flatly.  
“What did she say? Is Cass awake?” Sam kicked the blanket away and started getting dressed. “Dean?”  
“He’s not awake yet,” Dean muttered, shaking his head.  
“Well then what is it? What’s going on Dean?” Sam demanded, getting up from his bed. He crossed the small room in two strides and stood in front of Dean, searching his brother’s eyes for any sign he heard Sam’s words.  
“They … they took him in for surgery. She said the swelling got worse after we left. We have to go.” A single tear slid down Dean’s cheek as he spoke, the phone still up to his ear.  
Sam took the phone from Dean and tossed it onto the empty bed. “Dean, you gotta to snap out of this. Castiel needs us to be there for him. This isn’t the time to have a breakdown.” Sam grabbed Dean’s shoulders and shook him.  
Dean sighed. “You’re right Sammy. I just didn’t think this would happen so soon. I mean, it’s only been five hours since I left him.”  
“I know Dean, I know. Hurry up and finish getting dressed so we can head back over,” Sam said. He watched Dean get dressed, his movements stiff and automatic. He wanted to say something when Dean grabbed his jacket without putting on a shirt, but didn’t want to embarrass him.  
Sam followed Dean out of the room, closing the door behind them. He wasn’t quite sure what they would find when they got there, but he only hoped it was good.

0-0-0-0-0

Dean pulled the Impala to a stop in a parking space near the front of the hospital. He hadn’t said a single word to Sam the whole way over, but then again, Sam didn’t feel much like talking himself. They exited the car and walked through the front door. There was a young brunette woman sitting at the front desk, typing away on her computer and nursing an energy drink.  
“Good morning gentleman,” She said with a tired smile. It wasn’t often she got people coming in at 3 in the morning, so whatever the reason they were there, it wasn’t good.  
“Good morning … Amy,” Sam replied, leaning in to read her nametag. “Could you show us to the surgical waiting room? Nurse Wilson said you’d steer us in the right direction.”  
“You must be the Winchesters. Jody called and said you were on your way. What you’re gonna want to do is go down the hall to your left all the way to the end to the elevators by the vending machines and take it up to the 10th floor. Check in with Nurse Parker at the desk so he knows to notify Dr. Collins that you’re here.” Amy pointed out. “There’s also a lounge area upstairs with coffee and cookies if you get hungry.”  
“Thanks Amy,” Sam said before turning to catch up with Dean, who was already halfway down the hall. Sam was thankful that there were no other people around this early in the morning, because the two of them looked pretty psychotic running down the hallway. They stopped at the elevator bay and waited for the elevator to arrive.  
“I can’t believe this is happening Sammy. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I just want to wake up back in the motel with Cass standing there watching me sleep. I want that back,” Dean muttered.  
“Dean … he’ll get better. You gotta remember that. You’ve got to believe he’s going to get better.” Sam hooked an arm around Dean’s shoulders and led him from the elevator when it arrived at the 10th floor. They approached the desk yet again.  
“We’re Jimmy Winchester’s family. Nurse Wilson knows we’re coming.” Dean rattled off their information, just hoping to get it over with as soon as possible. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and pray for Castiel’s recovery.  
“I’ll let Nurse Wilson know you’ve arrived.” The nurse turned back to the chart in his hand without another word to the boys.  
Sam and Dean shuffled over to the corner of the waiting room and sank down on two of the couches. Dean pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Sam rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. They were in for a long and sleepless night.

0-0-0-0-0

“Sam? Dean? Wake up.” A voice called to them from somewhere outside of their dreams. Sam was the first to rise from unconsciousness, and he straightened up from where he’d fallen over during sleep.  
“Dr. Collins? What time is it?” Sam asked as he looked out the window and saw that the sun had come up. He looked over and saw that Dean was still sleeping fitfully. Tear tracks stained Dean’s cheeks and his brow was furrowed as he muttered under his breath. As much as Sam wanted to let Dean catch up on sleep, he knew Dean would want to be awake to hear how Castiel’s surgery went.  
Sam leaned over and shook Dean’s leg gently. “Hey Dean, wake up. It’s morning.”  
Dean came awake with a start, fresh tears falling down his face as the nightmare planted itself firmly in the forefront of his mind. He tried shaking the images away but they weren’t going anywhere. He looked up and saw Dr. Collins standing in front of them, a heavy air of tiredness hanging over her.  
“Come with me,” She said simply. Dean and Sam shot to their feet, following closely behind Dr. Collins as she led them to a small private room off the main waiting area. “Have a seat.” She motioned to two chairs across from her as she sat down in her own.  
“H-how is he? Is he going to be okay?” Dean stuttered, wringing his hands.  
Dr. Collins sighed before speaking. “Shortly after you left, Jimmy’s heart rate and blood pressure skyrocketed. We know from experience with traumatic brain injuries that these are both signs of a sudden increase in intracranial pressure. We took him in for emergency surgery to remove a section of skull to allow the pressure a place to go. It was more difficult than usual because of the skull fractures, but nothing we couldn’t handle. The procedure was successful, and we’ve already seen the pressure stabilize. It hasn’t gotten any worse, but also hasn’t decreased yet.”  
“So he’s okay? We can see him now?” Dean wondered.  
“There’s more I need to tell you. Jimmy’s heart stopped twice on the table. The first time we were able to get his heart restarted no problem, but the second time it took almost 7 minutes before we were able to get a steady rhythm. We won’t know the extent of damage to his brain until he wakes up.” Dr. Collins finished explaining everything and waited for it to sink in. “I can take you to see him now.”  
Dr. Collins led the way out of the small room and down the hallway. The nurses they passed by all stared at the two giant men in plaid and leather. The doctor had to shoo away more than one nurse who tried to follow them. She made a mental note to make sure the room had a curtain to ensure their privacy and dignity.  
“I’m sorry about the nurses. They’re young and stupid and fresh out of school. We’ve already had to have a conduct class this month and it’s only the 7th. Please don’t think that everyone here at Harborview is like that.” Dr. Collins waved her hands in the air in exasperation as she led the boys to a room at the end of the hall.  
“Don’t worry Dr. Collins. We know you’re not like that. We’re used to having women stare. We just want to thank you for everything you’ve done for us; explaining everything so simply so that we understand it.” Sam smiled as they stopped outside the door.  
“It’s no problem at all Sam. You can stay here with Jimmy all day. Nurse Wilson should be starting her shift in a few hours, and she’ll check in on you when she gets here.” Dr. Collins opened the door for the boys and then turned and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't tell, I watch waaaayyy too much Grey's Anatomy :D


	7. One Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we learn the truth about Jody, but not before a very emotional Winchester moment.

Dean was the first one to step across the threshold and up to Castiel’s bed. He let out a choked sob as he looked down at him. It seemed as though the amount of tubes and wires attached to Castiel had tripled since Dean had last seen him. He was more machine than man, and Dean wasn’t sure how to feel or what to think.  
“Hey Cass,” Dean whispered, picking up Castiel’s limp hand and kissing it softly. “You gotta stop scaring us like this buddy. Please.” Dean lowered himself into the chair and continued to hold Castiel’s hand. Sam soon joined his brother at their friend’s side.  
“Dean,” Sam began. “I have to say something. I know you aren’t big on chick-flick moments, but this is something I need to get off my chest.”  
“What is it Sammy? Is everything alright?” Dean asked, turning to watch his brother.  
“I love you so much. You’re the best big brother a guy could ask for. You’ve taken care of me my entire life and always made sure I had everything I needed. I was such a burden to you. You put up with all my crap and even though it killed you inside, you let me go off to Stanford in an attempt at the normal life I wanted. But I realize now that this is the life I wanted. This is the life I’ve always wanted because it’s the life with you in it. It’s the life with you and Cass in it.” Sam crushed Dean in a hug, his sobs muffled in his older brother’s shoulder.  
“Where is this coming from?” Dean wondered in confusion. It was a moment later that he gasped, the realization dawning on him. “You’re afraid that something like this might happen to me, and you won’t get the chance to say I love you. Oh Sammy, I know how you feel. We may fight and disagree but at the end of the day, we’re brothers and that’s all that matters.”  
“I know Dean, but if something happened to you and I didn’t say it, then I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”  
Dean tightened his arms around Sam’s shuddering body. “Sammy, you were never a burden. I loved taking care of you when we were kids. You looked up to me like I was a superhero, and that made me feel so needed. You don’t know how proud I am to have you as my brother. I never told anyone this before, not even dad … but there was a time when I was 14, when I honestly contemplated suicide.” Dean rested his chin on Sam’s shoulder as his little brother’s sobs slowly died down. “Dad had dropped us off at Gordon Walker’s place while he went on a series of jobs. It was that time he was gone for 6 months without even calling or checking in. Gordon was more of a dictator than dad, and it was like he had it out for me. I’ll spare you the details on that and just say that it was Hell. It was the week before my fifteenth birthday when I started spiraling into depression. I put on a brave face and a smile whenever you were around because I didn’t want you to worry. Everything seemed hopeless and I had all but put the gun to my head at that point. But do you wanna know what stopped me from doing it?”  
“What?” Sam asked, his voice muffled in Dean’s shirt.  
“You did Sammy. It was midnight, I was officially 15 years old and I had the gun in my hand underneath my pillow. You were asleep in your bed down the hall and I remember placing a letter for you on the nightstand where you would find it. Then I heard you trying to tiptoe down the hall towards my room, but you were too excited to be quiet. You crawled into my bed and shook me awake. You had this huge grin on your face and you handed me a small, crudely wrapped box. I tore off the wrapping paper and lifted the lid; inside was a simple leather bracelet.” Dean pulled away and lifted his arm, showing the bracelet still around his wrist. “That moment made me realize what I would be leaving behind if I went through with it. It made me realize that I would be leaving you all alone without your big brother to look out for you. You kept me going through that dark time in my life. If it hadn’t been for you … I wouldn’t be here today. I love you Sammy.”

0-0-0-0-0

A knock on the door a few hours later pulled them from their storytelling. They looked over to see Nurse Wilson standing in the doorway. “Good morning boys. I’m sorry I didn’t come out and talk to you when you got here, but Dr. Collins made me go get a few hours rest in the on-call room. I take it she explained everything to you?” She wondered as she moved around the room, checking Castiel’s vitals and sutures.  
“Yes she did,” Dean remarked. “Thank you Jody.”  
Jody closed the door and pulled the curtain around Castiel’s bed. “There’s something I need to tell you two. I’m not who you think I am.” A flash of lightning lit the room as a silhouette of a pair of wings spread across the curtain behind her.  
“You’re … you’re an Angel?” Sam stammered.  
“Yes Sam, I am an Angel. My name is Alexandria; Jody is the name of my vessel. Dean, when you told me his name was Castiel, I knew he was my brother even though I haven’t seen him in this vessel before. But something is different about him,” She spoke as she touched Castiel’s forehead.  
“His Grace is gone. He told us whatever attacked him stole it.”  
Alexandria removed her hand and shook her head sadly. “This is most troubling. If something stole Castiel’s Grace, there is no telling what they will use it for. I will scan Angel radio and ask our brothers and sisters for help in identifying the culprit.”  
Dean shot to his feet. “If you’re an Angel, then why don’t you just fix him? Why make him suffer like this?!” Dean bellowed.  
“Don’t take that tone with me Winchester. If I could heal Castiel, I would. But this goes far beyond my capabilities. I am a low level angel. I can only heal minor injuries; not something like this.”  
“Can’t you at least wake him up? I need to know that he knows how I feel. Please.” Dean begged, his previous anger long gone.  
Alexandria shook her head. “I’m sorry Dean, but you have to believe me when I say, that waking him up now would just put more strain on his heart. Castiel would be in unbearable pain if he were awake. But I can promise you that once his brain has healed, I will be able to wake him if he doesn’t do so on his own.” Alexandria opened the curtain and stepped back. “You do not have to worry about Castiel being unprotected here. My brothers and sisters that work here in the hospital will assist me in watching over him, that much I can assure. No demon is able to enter this place without alerting myself or one of the others.”

0-0-0-0-0

The days that followed Alexandria’s revelation passed slowly for the Winchesters. The staff in the ICU had become quite familiar with them, and it wasn’t until an intern found them sleeping in their car in the parking lot, did they allow Sam and Dean to stay with Castiel after visiting hours were over. Winter was fast approaching, and with it plummeting temperatures and a higher risk for hypothermia. Castiel’s condition stayed mostly the same; though it didn’t deteriorate, it didn’t improve as much as Dean hoped. Dean was beginning to worry that Castiel would never heal and he would never see those sky blue eyes again.  
Over the course of the week, Alexandria introduced Sam and Dean to the other angels working in the hospital; Samara, Constantine, Gadreel and Alaina. They were kind souls, and the Winchesters knew they could trust them to watch over Castiel. Samara had taken a liking to the boys and mothered them incessantly.  
“I brought you boys some pie from the cafeteria. I hope you like blueberry,” Samara announced as she entered the room. Dean’s eyes lit up as she handed him a Styrofoam container. He opened the lid and took a whiff, smiling at the aroma.  
“Thank you Samara. I love blueberry pie.” Dean smiled at the blonde middle-aged woman.  
Sam couldn’t help but chuckle. “Dean loves all kinds of pie. He’s a glutton for pie.”  
“Bitch.”  
“Jerk.”  
Samara laughed at the good-natured ribbing between brothers before checking Castiel’s vitals. “Castiel seems to be improving since the partial craniotomy. The swelling is beginning to decrease and his heart rate, blood pressure and respirations are holding steady and strong. If things continue to improve at this rate, he should be waking up in a few weeks,” She stated, trailing her hand up and down Castiel’s arm. Dean gave Castiel a sponge bath every day in the morning and at night before the nurses changed shifts.  
Dean had refused to let anyone other than himself bathe Cass. The orderlies who usually bathed the patients worked with mechanical motions and stiff hands. They didn’t take the time to put any extra effort into it, or talk to the patients while they did it. Even though Castiel wasn’t conscious, he deserved to be bathed with soft hands and gentle touches.  
“Dean?” Samara began as she wrote down the numbers in Castiel’s chart.  
“Yeah, what’s up Samara?” Dean picked up where Samara had left off, his broad fingers massaging Cass’s muscles.  
“Have you ever thought about pursuing a career in the medical field? You have a great bedside manner and I think you’d really excel. You could help a lot of people.”  
“If I wasn’t a hunter, then I think I would. But since there’s always going to be supernatural creatures running amok in the world, then my plate is pretty full.” Dean shrugged his shoulders. If he had his way, he wouldn’t step within 1000 feet of a hospital for the rest of his life.  
“I understand. You help people in your own way, and that is all any of us can ask for these days. Gadreel will be in shortly to change Castiel’s IV.” Samara smiled and left the room, the curtain fluttering in her wake. If there was one thing the boys could always count on, it was that Samara knew how to make an entrance and exit.  
“I can’t believe Castiel is improving the way he has been. I thought it would be at least a few months before the possibility of him waking up was plausible,” Sam voiced with wonder. It seemed as though the Angels had been more helpful than they thought they could be.  
“I know Sammy. I can’t believe it either. But I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth, if you know what I mean. Things can change on a dime, so we just have to keep thinking positive and keep doing what we’ve been doing.” Dean stroked Castiel’s cheek with a soft smile. When Dr. Collins had removed the ventilator the day before, Dean could barely contain his excitement.  
“Now that Castiel’s off the ventilator and improving, why don’t we head to a hotel and grab a shower and a nap?” Sam asked, standing up and stretching his arms above his head.  
“I don’t know man. He could wake up any day now, and I don’t want to miss it.” Dean shrugged his shoulders as his gaze fell to the sheet in front of him. He could feel his cheeks burn red in embarrassment.  
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Dean. I just thought I’d put the suggestion out there. I had a feeling you’d say no anyway.” Sam chuckled.  
There was a gentle knock on the doorframe. Sam turned and smiled at the young woman standing there.  
“Hello boys. I’m so sorry to disturb you, but Dr. Collins asked me to come and speak with you.” The woman took a few steps into the room, stopping at the foot of the bed.  
“And you are?” Sam asked, quirking an eyebrow as he took in the woman’s semi-casual appearance. She couldn’t have been more than 21 years old at the most.  
“My name is Lyndsey Masters; I’m a home healthcare nurse. I’m here to speak with you about caring for your brother once he is well enough to be discharged. There’s no way of knowing the exact extent of brain damage until he wakes up, but it’s safe to say that Jimmy will have to relearn quite a bit,” Lyndsey explained.  
“But we’re not from around here. We have no steady place to stay for him,” Sam remarked.  
“That’s no problem at all. Dr. Collins made us aware of that, and we have established a safe place for you to stay while Jimmy rehabilitates. Our connections with the Ronald McDonald House, which usually provides families of sick children a place to stay, have secured a house for the three of you so that Jimmy can receive the care he needs.” Lyndsey smiled warmly.  
Dean gaped at the woman, unable to make the words come out of his mouth. “Thank you so much Ms. Masters! I-I don’t know what to say.”  
Gadreel slipped into the room, a new IV kit in his hand. He dropped it as he caught sight of the woman standing at the foot of Castiel’s bed.  
“Demon! Get away from him!” Gadreel shouted, grabbing Lyndsey around the waist and throwing her to the ground. He straddled her, pinning her arms above her head.  
“Gadreel, what are you doing?! She’s just a nurse!” Sam stood, about to pull Gadreel from the woman when her eyes flashed black.  
Dean stood quickly, the chair crashing to the floor. He kneeled down by the demon’s face. He pulled his knife from his jacket and held it to her throat. “What are you doing here?! Who are you working for?!” He bellowed, pressing the blade into her neck.  
“I’m a home healthcare nurse working for Harborview Medical Center. I’m here to speak with you about Castiel’s rehabilitation,” Lyndsey sighed, not particularly in the mood to go through this macho, puffed chest, pissing contest.  
“Who are you really working for?! Don’t lie to me!” Gadreel pressed a knee into her chest, crushing the air from her lungs.  
“I’m not lying, Gadreel. I don’t know what you think my intentions are, but they’re not evil. I’m not here to hurt Castiel. If I wanted to hurt Castiel, I would’ve done it when you were all asleep. I wouldn’t have voluntarily walked into a room with two of the world’s best hunters! I’m a demon, not an idiot.” Lyndsey sent a surge of power out and threw Gadreel into the wall. She stood up, brushing her clothes. “If you don’t believe me, you can ask Dr. Collins. I’ve been working at Harborview for three years. If it will make you feel better, you can have Gadreel look at my thoughts.”  
Gadreel rose to his feet from where Lyndsey had tossed him and stalked over to her. He placed a hand on her forehead and closed his eyes, scanning her thoughts and memories for any sign that she meant harm to Castiel. After a moment he removed his hand and turned to address Sam and Dean. “She’s clean. She speaks the truth that her intentions are not negative. She only wishes to help Castiel, though the reason behind that is unclear. She is not working for Crowley or any other demon.”  
“Thank you for your help Gadreel,” Dean remarked as he sat back down next to Castiel’s bed. Gadreel picked up the IV kit and resumed the changing of the IV. He worked quickly and efficiently, and with one last steely glare at the demon, left the room.  
Lyndsey retook her post at the end of the bed before speaking. “The house is a few blocks from here, so Castiel will not become stressed by a long move. It’s two stories, three bedrooms in a quiet neighborhood; and it also has two bathrooms and a nice kitchen. It’s the perfect place for Castiel to rehabilitate in peace. If you’d like, I can take you to check out the house before we move him in.”  
“That sounds fine with us.” Dean nodded his head gruffly. The boys rose from their seats and followed Lyndsey out of the room. They would only be gone for a few hours at the most, what’s the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't have a supernatural fan fiction without a demon, now could I? And for those of you who may already be wondering, Lyndsey is not trying to lull the boys into a false sense of security. She is a lot like Meg was near the end of her time on the show. Lyndsey's story will be revealed at some point in the story.


	8. Everything Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed yet, all the chapters are song titles :) I'm never very good at coming up with chapter titles, and each song that I picked fits the story at that point (at least in my opinion).

Sam walked through the upper floor of the house, sweeping for EMF. Dean was downstairs with Lyndsey, keeping an eye on the demon. He still didn’t trust her and knew Dean didn’t either. The house was nice, simple, nothing too obnoxious or obvious. It was a house no one would look twice at, and that was all the boys could hope for; a safe, quiet place where Castiel could recover in peace.  
“How’s it looking up there Sammy?” Dean asked from the bottom of the stairs.  
“Things look great up here Dean. This place is perfect!” Sam replied as he stuck his head out from the bedroom he was checking out. The house really was perfect. He knew Dean liked it as much as he did, and knew Castiel would feel comfortable here.  
“If you don’t have any concerns about the house, we should probably head back to the hospital now.” Lyndsey remarked as she joined Dean in the foyer. Dean leaned against the wall by the front door and waited for Sam to make his way down.

0-0-0-0-0

Dean, Sam and Lyndsey heard the commotion as soon as they stepped off the elevator. Doctors and nurses rushed into Castiel’s room, shouting things that they couldn’t make out from so far away. Dean glanced over at Lyndsey, whose expression had paled.  
“Lyndsey, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Dean asked her quickly disappearing form as she raced down the hallway.  
Lyndsey skidded to a halt outside of Castiel’s room. His bed was surrounded by medical personnel, and an erratic beeping rose above the din of voices. She recognized Dr. Collins as the petite woman shouted out instructions.  
“Push 1 milligram of Epinephrine! Charge the paddles to 200!” Dr. Collins demanded as she pumped Castiel’s chest in an effort to restart his heart. “Dammit! Come on Jimmy, don’t give up!” Collins took the paddles from the cart. “Clear!” She slammed the paddles down on Castiel’s bare chest, the jolt arching his back off the bed.  
“He’s still in V-Fib,” the nurse watching the heart monitor stated.  
Collins swore under her breath. “Push another milligram of Epi and charge to 300!”  
“Get out of my way!” Dean demanded as he attempted to shoulder his way past Lyndsey and another nurse who tried to keep him out of the room. “He needs me!”  
“Sir, you need to stand back and let the doctors do their job,” The nurse explained as she stood in the doorway, her arms crossed.  
Dean stepped closer, dropping his voice to a deadly whisper. “You listen to me lady. If you don’t step aside and let me in right now … Jimmy’s not the only one who’ll need help.”  
The woman paled but reluctantly stepped aside. Dean took a tentative step inside the room and gasped in shock.  
Dr. Collins glanced over and swore again. “Dammit Dean, you shouldn’t be in here! You shouldn’t see this!”  
Dean watched Dr. Collins apply the paddles to Castiel’s chest again, and Dean openly sobbed as Castiel’s body jerked off the bed. “You can’t leave us! We … we need you, buddy.”  
Dean closed his eyes as tears slid down his cheeks. He didn’t care that he was having a breakdown in a room full of people. He didn’t care that half the people were Angels and that a Demon stood just outside the door. He didn’t care about anything but Castiel.  
“Heart rhythm is normal and stable Dr. Collins,” The nurse announced with a sigh of relief. Dean collapsed to his knees, the tears sliding down his cheeks now ones of relief. Dr. Collins rechecked Castiel’s vitals once more before she and the other staff left the room. Sam entered the room, though Dean didn’t notice.  
Dean rose to his feet and staggered to Castiel’s bedside. “Cass,” Dean whispered. “What’s going on with you man? You were fine when we left to check out the house. Please don’t leave me Castiel. I love you.”  
Sam slipped out of the room to give his brother the privacy it was obvious he needed. He headed down to the cafeteria to get a cup of whatever passed for coffee in this place.  
Dean smiled sadly when he noticed Sam had left him alone with Cass. His brother always knew when to step away and let Dean have a moment to himself. He sighed, running his hands through his short hair. He felt like the weight of the entire world rested on his shoulders, and all Dean wanted to do was lay down and let it crush him. But he couldn’t do that. He needed to stay strong and keep going; to find those responsible and make them pay. Dean closed his eyes, folded his hands … and began to pray.  
“I don’t know if you have your ears on God, but it’s Dean Winchester. I need your help. Castiel is hurt … he’s dying. I don’t know what to do! Please tell me what to do God! I’ve never felt so lost before. I need guidance. I can’t live with Castiel. I love him,” Dean begged, fat tears falling down his face. He slammed his fist on the bed. “YOU OWE ME!”  
By the time Sam finally made his way back to the room, Dean had cried himself to sleep. He lay slumped over in his chair, his head resting on Castiel’s shoulder and his hand on his chest. Sam grabbed a blanket from the other chair and draped it over his brother’s sleeping form. He was shocked that Dean had fallen asleep, though it didn’t surprise him. Dean hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since Castiel had been transferred to Harborview, and exhaustion had finally caught up with the hunter.  
Sam watched over his family for a few hours, the caffeine he’d ingested keeping him from nodding off, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Sam fished it out and checked the caller ID. Brow furrowed when he didn’t recognize the number, he answered.  
“Hello?” Sam answered, wondering who could possibly have gotten his personal cell number.  
“Hey Sam,” A female voice replied.  
“Charlie? Is that you?” Sam couldn’t believe he was hearing from Charlie over a year since they’d said goodbye and parted ways.  
“Yeah, it’s me. When were you going to tell me?” Charlie interrogated.  
“Tell you what?”  
“When were you going to tell me that Castiel was attacked? I mean, I know we haven’t talked in a year, but you know how much I care about you three knuckleheads!” Sam could hear Charlie’s anger rising and needed to calm her down before he went deaf.  
“Charlie, calm down,” Sam stood and went into the hallway. “How did you know that Castiel was attacked?”  
“I was running a nationwide facial recognition for the three of you, making sure you were staying out of trouble, when the program matched Castiel to surveillance footage from a house in Eastern Washington. The footage shows him being jumped by a group of people; two men did the dirty work while another man and a woman stood off to the side and watched. I think they were giving orders,” Charlie explained.  
Sam was utterly speechless. Just when things seemed their most hopeless, fate turned around and handed them the Holy Grail. This was exactly what they needed; faces to put with their mystery assailants. Now they just had to put names to those faces.  
“We need that footage. Where are you now Charlie?” Sam questioned after a long pause.  
Charlie chuckled under her breath. “I’m in Washington actually. I work for Microsoft’s corporate office. What motel are you squatting in?”  
“We’re at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. Castiel was transferred here from a hospital in Wenatchee,” Sam said. The pregnant pause that hung between them told Sam that the news had startled Charlie.  
“B-but he’s an Angel. Why hasn’t he just healed himself?” Sam could tell that Charlie was inching closer to a breakdown, and he needed to derail it fast.  
“Whoever these people were that attacked him, stole his Grace. Right now he’s as human as you and me. Things aren’t looking good for Cass, so I suggest you get over here as soon as you can. You might not get another chance to say goodbye.”  
“I’ll be there in half an hour!” Charlie said and hung up the phone. Sam shoved the phone back into his pocket and made his way down to the front entrance to meet Charlie.

0-0-0-0-0

“Sam!” Charlie shouted as she jumped from the taxi and raced towards him. She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Tears soaked into Sam’s shirt as Charlie sobbed openly.  
“Shh, it’s okay Charlie. It’s okay.” Sam murmured softly. “Castiel is stable for the moment, but he’s had some touch and go moments since he was brought in. I’ll take you up to see him now.”  
Charlie nodded and wiped the tears from her face with the bottom of Sam’s shirt. “Is Dean with him?”  
“Yeah, Dean’s with him,” Sam replied as he led her inside and into the elevator. “When Cass was transferred here, Dean stayed until visiting hours were over. We got a hotel nearby so that we could be close in case he woke up. That night Dean got a phone call from the hospital; the swelling in Castiel’s brain had gotten worse and they took him in for surgery to relieve the pressure. It seemed to really help, but Dean was adamant about not leaving Castiel’s side again.  
“The hospital sent in a home health care nurse to talk to us about his rehabilitation once he woke up, and told us that the Ronald McDonald House had found a place for us to stay. Dean and I went with the nurse to check out the house, and when we came back … Cass had taken a turn for the worse. He went into cardiac arrest, but the doctor was able to revive him. We don’t know what kind of damage the lack of oxygen has done. Dean’s on the verge of a full-blown break. I’m worried about him, Charlie.”  
Charlie grabbed Sam’s forearm and pulled him to a stop. “I’m worried about you, Sam. You seem to be taking this a little too well. Are you okay?” She asked.  
“I’m fine Charlie. Dean may not realize it, but he needs me to be strong for him. He needs someone to turn to when all this gets to be too much. To be completely honest with you Charlie, whenever I tell Dean I’m going to get coffee or some fresh air, I always find myself sitting in the Impala crying. I just … I don’t want Dean to see me like that and think he needs to be the protective big brother. Dean needs to be able to just grieve and work through this,” Sam explained.  
Charlie threw her arms around Sam’s waist. “I understand.”  
0-0-0-0-0  
Dean awoke at the sound of Sam’s footsteps. He rubbed his bleary eyes and plastered on a tired smile, hoping Sam wouldn’t want to talk about what had happened to Cass after they left. His smile grew genuine with a hint of surprise when he saw the small red haired girl in tow.  
“Charlie? What are you doing here?” Dean asked. He stood just in time to catch Charlie who hurled herself into his arms.  
Charlie launched into a recollection of how she had been running the boys’ faces through facial recognition and had come across the surveillance footage showing Castiel’s attack, and how she’d called Sam nearly hysteric over it. She explained what she had seen in the video, and how she had downloaded it to an external hard drive.  
“God, we’ve missed you Charlie,” Dean muttered, placing a hand on her thigh.  
Charlie swiped at the tears that ran down her face. “I missed you guys too. I know the last time we parted ways I said to lose my number, that I didn’t want to get dragged into this world … but I changed my mind. I don’t ever want to leave you three again. You’re my family.”  
“We wouldn’t want it any other way, your highness.” Dean smiled as he handed her a tissue. He knew that would get Charlie smiling.  
“Thank you Dean. It means a lot to me that you want me back too.” Charlie’s gaze fell to Castiel. “Do you think it’d be alright if I have some time alone with him?”  
Dean tensed visibly. The last time he left Castiel, the man had almost died. But he knew that Charlie needed to have a moment with Cass. “Sure Charlie. We’ll be in the lounge if you need us.” And with that, Dean and Sam left the room; Charlie could hear their receding voices down the hall. She took the seat Dean had vacated and rested her hand on Castiel’s arm. It was a long time before Charlie found the courage to speak.  
“Hey Cass, I’m not sure if you can hear me, but it’s Charlie. I came as soon as I found out you were hurt. You have to get better, you hear me? You need to get better so you can tell Dean how you feel about him. And don’t think that it isn’t super obvious to everyone what your feelings are. Well, maybe it’s not to everyone because Dean seems to be oblivious to it,” Charlie rambled as she stroked his arm. “Please Castiel, you gotta wake up. I don’t want this to end like it did with my mom. You both deserve so much better than that.”  
Sam and Dean smiled to each other from their place in the hallway. They had been on their way back from the lounge when they heard Charlie’s soft voice filter through the air.  
“Was Cass really that obvious with how he felt? Am I really that thick-headed?” Dean questioned.  
“Yeah … at least you used to be.” Sam chuckled. “But that’s what makes you who you are, Dean.”

0-0-0-0-0

Charlie closed her eyes and stroked the top of Castiel’s hand with her thumb, singing Hallelujah softly. It never failed to make her feel better, like when work was especially stressful or the times she thought of her mom.  
“Ch-Charlie? W-what a-are you d-doing here?” A soft, raspy voice called. With wide eyes, Charlie turned towards the sound.  
“Cass? You’re awake? You’re awake!” She shouted in joy, jumping to her feet. “Sam! Dean!” Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed onto Castiel, holding him tightly. “We thought we’d lost you.” Charlie untangled herself from Castiel and wiped her cheeks with shaky hands.  
Sam and Dean raced into the room, stopping short as their gazes fell on a pair of bright blue eyes neither thought they’d ever see again. Dean broke down in sobs as he raced towards Castiel. He cupped his Angel’s face in his hands and kissed him fiercely.  
He pulled back slightly, their lips just centimeters apart. “I thought I’d lost you Cass. I love you so, so much. I’m sorry I was such a blockhead before. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I love you sooner,” Dean whispered, tears shining in his emerald green eyes. “Don’t ever leave me. I need you. I love you.”  
Castiel smiled at Dean’s love-filled words. He had waited years for Dean to realize his true feelings and admit to himself that he deserved to be happy. “I lo-love you t-too.”  
Dean’s brow furrowed in concern; Cass was stuttering. He could see Cass struggling to form each word; struggling to make the words come out. Dean hoped it was only temporary. He looked up into Castiel’s blue eyes to find them shining with tears.  
“De-Dean, w-what’s wr-wrong with m-me?” Castiel cried.   
Dean quieted Castiel’s tears, trailing gentle kisses up and down his cheek. “There is nothing wrong with you. You are the same loving, kind-hearted man that I fell in love with from the moment you walked into that barn.”  
Sam stepped forward, smiling down at Castiel. “I’m gonna go tell Dr. Collins that Cass is awake,” He said to Dean.


	9. Let It Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've come to the conclusion that I do not know how to properly end a chapter. I'm sorry for the weird way the last one ended and the weird way this one starts.

Sam clapped Dean on the shoulder before turning and leaving the room.  
Charlie watched tears slide down the two men’s faces and felt her heart break in two. The tears were a mix of joy at Castiel being awake, and fear over what the stutter could mean in terms of permanent damage.  
“Charlie found video of the attack. When you feel up to it, we need you to see if you recognize the people in the video,” Dean explained.   
Castiel nodded slowly. He didn’t feel confident in his ability to identify his attackers, as they had snuck up behind him and ambushed him. But there was no way he was going to tell that to Dean. Not when they had finally admitted their feelings for one another and were in that weird beginning stage of a relationship.  
Sam returned a few minutes later with Dr. Collins right on his heels. “See? He’s awake!” Sam beamed, bouncing with excitement.  
Dr. Collins approached the bed, a smile on her face. “It’s good to see you awake. My name is Shannon Collins, I’m your doctor.” She pulled out a small flashlight and shined it in both of Castiel’s eyes. “Do you have any blurred vision or headache?”  
“N-no m-ma’am,” Castiel replied. “J-just the st-stutter.”  
“That’s to be expected with the region of the brain that was affected by the stroke. The lobe that controls speech was the epicenter of the stroke. Our hope is that as your brain continues to heal, you’ll be able to regain normal speech patterns.” Dr. Collins explained everything so simply that all four of them could understand.  
“So it’s temporary?” Charlie asked, his eyes bright with hope. “He’ll get better?”  
“In my professional opinion, I can’t make any promises. But personally, I believe anything is possible. As long as he works hard and goes to rehab, I think he’ll recover fully.” Dr. Collins smiled before turning and leaving the room.  
“Did you hear that Cass? You’re going to be fine,” Dean said with a beaming smile.  
A knock on the door sounded before Castiel could reply. Alexandria stood in the doorway; Samara and Gadreel behind her. They all gasped at the sight of Castiel awake and coherent. Alexandria rushed into the room, wrapping her arms around the young man. “I can’t believe you’re awake! We were so worried about you Castiel.” Alexandria pulled back, smoothing a hand over Castiel’s hair.  
“Who a-are you?” Castiel wondered. He tilted his head to the side, hoping that he could figure out who the kind woman was.  
“Forgive me, Castiel. I forgot that it is difficult to distinguish Angels from humans without your Grace. I am Alexandria and this is Samara and Gadreel. We work here at the hospital,” Alexandria explained. Samara waved from her spot behind Gadreel, who regarded Castiel with an unreadable expression.  
“You have b-been w-watching over m-me?” Castiel questioned, eyes flitting between the three angels. He caught when Samara’s eyes widened in a mix of shock and pity when Castiel opened his mouth.  
“Yes Castiel. We have been watching over you while your vessel recovered to make certain no harm came to you,” Gadreel remarked. “It is good to see that you are … okay.”  
“D-do you know who a-t-tacked me?”  
“Unfortunately we do not know who has attacked you. Everything has been quiet in Heaven. No sudden large shifts in power or disruptions. But we will do all we can to aid in the search for those responsible. If someone out there is attacking Angels, there is no telling which one of us may be next.”  
“Thank you all f-for y-your help. W-when c-can I g-go home?” Castiel shifted in the bed, clearly anxious to get out and back to something more familiar.  
“You’ll be able to go home in a few days, Castiel. The hospital was able to find a place for the three of you to stay until you recover fully.” Alexandria laid a soothing hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel flinched visibly, a fearful whine coming from his mouth. Alexandria jerked her hand away like she’d been burned. A look of hurt crossed her features for a second before she composed herself again.  
“Th-thank you s-sisters; a-and you as w-well b-brother.” Castiel leaned back into the pillow; the conversation draining what little energy he had.  
“Cass needs to get some rest. We’ll let you know when he’s discharged so you can all see him off,” Dean said with a surprisingly kind smile. It was hard to be polite to the Angels at the moment when all he wanted was time alone with Castiel. He needed Cass to know how much Dean truly loved him.  
“Of course Dean, we understand. We have to get back to work anyway. Page us if you need anything,” Samara replied. She, Alexandria and Gadreel filed out of the room, their footsteps receding down the hall.  
“We’ll let you get some sleep, and when you’re feeling up to it Charlie will show you the video. Does that sound okay with you?” Sam asked.  
Castiel nodded, not trusting his voice. Samara’s reaction to his stutter chipped away at his confidence and his usually calm façade. He had never felt so vulnerable than he did when Samara looked at him with pity in her gaze. He used to be a soldier; an Angel of the Lord. But now he was nothing more than a weak human; his wings gone along with his grace.  
Castiel settled more deeply into the mattress, closing his eyes against the harsh fluorescent light that buzzed above his bed. “Y-you g-guys d-don’t have t-to st-stay. I’m f-f-fine.”  
Sam tsked as he sat down in a chair beside the bed. “Don’t be silly Castiel. We want to stay. And you couldn’t pry Dean away from your side with a crowbar if you tried.”  
Charlie nodded her head in agreement and flopped down on the cot Alexandria had brought into the room for them. “I don’t know about you boys, but I’m wiped out. Wake me in a few hours, okay?” Charlie remarked, covering her eyes with her arm. “Oh by the way, the hard drive is in my computer bag at my apartment, could you go pick it up Sam?”  
“Sure Charlie. Is there anything else you need while I’m there?” Sam wondered as Charlie tossed him her house keys. He snagged the Impala keys from Dean.  
“Yeah, bring me my Batman pajamas and the shirt that’s on my bed. Thanks Sam. My apartment is 1347 on Queen Anne hill. It’s a big yellow building … you can’t miss it.”  
Sam chuckled as he left the room, heading down to the parking lot.


	10. Lips Are Moving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a long time since I updated this story. Between work and registering for classes I didn't have time to get on. Add to that a HUGE case of writer's block and it turns into a mess. But here is an extra long chapter for making you wait. Love and kisses!

Sam was glad for the opportunity to get some fresh air and clear his head. The antiseptic smell of the hospital lodged deep in his sinuses, burning his nostrils with every inhale. Sam was over the moon with relief knowing that Castiel was no longer on the brink of death, but the stutter presented a whole new slew of problems they would have to overcome.  


He slid behind the wheel, leather molding around his large body. Sam loved every opportunity he got to drive the Impala; nothing made him feel freer than driving the long black car. Behind the wheel, he could let all of his fears and doubts fly out the window and allow his body to feel lighter, even if it was just for a moment. He turned the key, the engine rumbling to life. Sam pulled out of the parking lot towards Queen Anne hill.  


0-0-0-0-0-0  


Sam unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside. It was small and cluttered, but had the undeniable sense of home. Sam stopped in his tracks as he stepped over the threshold of what he assumed was Charlie’s office. An entire wall was covered in newspaper clippings and obituaries, police and weather reports, maps of the United States dotted with a rainbow of push pins, and folklore on a variety of supernatural baddies. He felt a pang of grief in his chest at the reminder of John and how his father used to do the same thing at whatever motel they were in that week.  


“Jesus Charlie, what have you been getting yourself into?” Sam asked aloud with a shake of his head. It was obvious that the girl was about to be in over her head and Sam bet that she didn’t have a clue. He needed to nip it in the bud before Charlie got herself killed. Sam walked over to the desk and located the hard drive sitting in the computer bag beside her laptop.  


He made his way to her bedroom and grabbed the clothes from her bed. He chuckled as he saw the shirt in his hand. It was dark blue and had the words “Time Lord In Training” superimposed in front of an outline of the TARDIS. Typical Charlie, Sam thought as he left the apartment, locking it up behind him.  


Sam pulled out his cellphone and dialed Dean’s number as he got into the car.  


“Hey man, what’s up?” Dean answered softly.  


“I need you to keep a close eye on Charlie,” Sam replied.  


“Why? What’s going on Sammy? Do you think someone’s after her? Do you think she might be … possessed?”  


“No, I don’t think she’s possessed. Some of the stuff I saw in her apartment has me worried that she’s hunting, and from the looks of it, she’s in over her head. There’s no way of knowing yet what might be after her, so just keep an eye on her.”  


“No problem man. You on your way back?”  


“Yeah, I just left her apartment. I’m gonna stop somewhere and pick us all up something to eat. How’s Castiel?” Sam wondered as he pulled onto the main road. It was relatively empty, and Sam was able to make the trip back to downtown quite quickly.  


“He’s sleeping right now. I think seeing Gadreel and the other angels made him uncomfortable. He wouldn’t look me in the eye or talk to me after you left. Charlie thinks that it was something Samara did. I don’t know dude, I’m just worried about Castiel. This stutter thing has really affected his confidence,” Dean replied with a sigh. “I wish I could show him that he’s still the same Castiel he’s always been.”  


“You’ll find a way to show him; I know you will Dean. If anyone can, it’s you. I believe in you, bro. You always know how to boost a person’s confidence. Just be there for him and support him; that’s the best thing you can give him now.” Sam’s words filled Dean with a feeling he had realized he’d been missing. Leave it to his little brother to remind Dean exactly what he was fighting for.  


“Thanks Sammy,” Dean replied warmly. “And bring me some pie!”  


Sam laughed. “I’ll bring you some pie … jerk.”  


“Bitch,” Dean retorted with a chuckle. “Drive safe Sammy.”  


“I will Dean,” Sam said before they both hung up. He pulled into the parking lot of an all-night diner and shut off the engine.  


0-0-0-0-0  


Dean watched Charlie and Castiel as they slept. He worried on his bottom lip as he turned over Sam’s words in his head. By the looks of what Sam found in her apartment, Charlie was hunting, and he didn’t want her getting hurt. Charlie had no idea the kind of evil monsters she could attract just by researching. Dean knew he needed to sit Charlie down and tell her that she was heading down a very bad path.  


Castiel stirred, eyes searching out Dean in the dim light. “Dean? You’re still here?”  


“Of course I’m still here Cas. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than by your side. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how much you mean to me. Everyone that I’ve ever cared about has been taken away from me and I … I didn’t want that to happen again. I was afraid if I admitted my feelings for you, that you’d leave or be taken away from me. But this has shown me that life is too short to hold back, and I want to shout my love for you from the tallest mountain so everyone from the Angels up in Heaven to the Demons down in Hell can hear. I want the universe to know that I love you Castiel. I love you so very much,” Dean confessed softly, his voice breaking. It was more than he’d ever told anyone before, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his heart.  


“I w-would n-never leave you. I-I l-love y-you t-too Dean,” Castiel replied softly, dropping his gaze to the blanket covering his lower body as he flushed red in embarrassment.  


“Hey, hey,” Dean murmured, pulling Castiel’s gaze back up to his with a gentle finger under his chin. “I don’t ever want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed around me. I know this stutter is a hard pill to swallow, but I know you Cas. I know you’re going to get better; I know you won’t let this hold you down. And who cares what Samara thinks? She doesn’t even know how strong you are, and it shouldn’t bother you that she pities you because you and I both know you’re strong and resilient and amazing..”  


“B-But it does bother m-me Dean!” Castiel shouted, tears brimming in his eyes. “Sh-she l-looks at me like I-I’m something to be p-put down! L-like I’m def-fective! I’M NOT DEFECTIVE!” Cas broke down in body-shaking sobs, burying his face in his hands.  


Charlie startled awake, heart racing until she realized that it was only Castiel and not the end of the world like her dream had been about. She settled back onto the pillow, knowing that Dean would calm Castiel down. Charlie knew that Castiel would clam up if he saw that she was awake.  


“You are not defective Cas. You know that and I know that. You are not something to be put down and I don’t ever want to hear you talking like that again. Do you hear me?” Dean stated, taking both of Castiel’s hands in his and forcing Cas to look him in the eye. “You’re going to get better. I know it’s going to be hard, but Sam, Charlie and I are right here with you every step of the way. You won’t ever be alone in this. I promise.”  


Castiel nodded, a single tear slipping down his cheek. “I l-love you D-Dean.”  


“I love you too Castiel. More than I can comprehend. I never realized how gray and dull my life was when you weren’t in it. I never want to go back to that again. So as long as you’ll have me, I will be right here by your side.” Dean wiped the tears from Castiel’s face and kissed him deeply.  


“Ch-Charlie, you c-can g-get up n-now. I kn-know you’re awake,” Castiel laughed as he and Dean broke the kiss.  


Charlie chuckled and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the rollaway. “Where’s Sam?”  


“He called to say he was stopping somewhere to get us food. Like real food, not the horrible hospital food,” Dean said. “He found your place easily enough.” Dean patted the empty space next to Castiel. “Why don’t you hop up here and join us?”  


Charlie stood and moved over to sit on the edge of Castiel’s bed. She squeezed Castiel’s hand and smiled softly at him. He returned her smile shakily.  


“Charlie, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” Dean began as he sat down in the empty chair. “Sam saw all that stuff in your apartment. All the obituaries and weather reports and folklore. We know that you’ve at least been researching and tracking supernatural occurrences, but I don’t think you realize what the consequences might be. Sooner rather than later, something big and bad will catch wind of what you’re doing and they’ll go after you; they’ll attack you. Remember what happened with Dick Roman? How you got your arm broken and almost died? I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you again when I could prevent it. Do you get what I’m saying?”  


Charlie nodded, dropping her head in shame. “I get what you’re saying Dean. But it’s not like I’m going out and actually hunting these things down. And it’s more about tracking you guys than tracking the actual supernatural evilness. I look in local papers across the country for things that I know would catch your eye, and then I keep tabs on it until the job is done. I just wanted to know that you all were okay. I’m kind of lonely here, what with my mom gone and all. I needed something to fill my extra time. I’m sorry.”  


“If you were lonely, why didn’t you say something? I know you still have mine and Sam’s number; all you had to do was call and say you wanted to see us. We’ve got lots of room in the bunker and to be completely honest, I missed having you around kiddo. I’ll tell you what. After Cas is all better and if you still want to, you are more than welcome to come home to Kansas with us. You’re a Winchester through and through Charlie. Never forget that.” Dean stood and gathered Charlie in a tight hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little side note: The shirt that Sam grabs for Charlie is one that I really want made. I think it would be the perfect accessory for any Doctor Who fan and I want it to be real! Someone make and send me that shirt! :P


	11. Hotel California

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I was dealing with real life medical issues for a while there. But I'm better now and will try to update more often. With season 11 in full swing, I'm hoping to have lots of inspiration. Enjoy!

“Thanks Dean. I’d love to come home with you.” Charlie returned Dean’s hug gratefully. “Maybe we should turn the bunker into a home for wayward hunters once you guys decide to retire.” Charlie laughed, feeling a weight lift from her chest. “It could become a safe haven. A place for injured hunters to recover without having to worry about being picked off by another supernatural entity. A sanctuary. I mean, it’s more secure than the National Armory and could probably withstand a nuclear holocaust.”  
“That sounds like a good idea. I don’t know how much longer I want to hunt now. I think it’s about time we hung up our boots and settled down,” Dean replied as the two of them separated. He moved back over to Castiel’s bed and sat down on the edge, running fingers through the man’s soft black hair. “How does that sound Cas? We could maybe even start a family. Would you like that?”  
“I w-would l-like th-that Dean. I-I know y-you’ve always w-wanted a f-f-family,” Castiel said with a small smile. “Wh-where’s S-Sam?”  
“He stopped by Charlie’s place to get her a change of clothes and he’s stopping to pick up some food,” Dean remarked. “Hopefully this will be the only time he has to bring food to the hospital. If things go our way we’ll be out of here in no time. And for his sake he better remember the pie.”

\---------------------------

Sam shouldered his way into the room, arms laden with food. “I come bearing gifts!” He set the bags of food on the small table in the room. “And yes Dean, I remembered the pie.” Dean laughed loudly, rifling in the bags for the pie.  
“You know me so well little brother,” Dean smiled as he opened the Styrofoam container and dug into the pie with his hand.  
“D-Dean, use a f-fork,” Castiel chuckled. Dean paused, his mouth full and cherry filling smeared on his chin.  
Sam and Charlie burst out in laughter as Dean blushed and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. “Sorry Cas, it’s really good pie. Try some.” Dean scooted closer to Castiel and lifted his sticky fingers to the man’s lips.  
Castiel blushed before taking Dean’s fingers in his mouth, tasting the sweet cherry mixed with the saltiness of Dean’s skin. “D-delicious,” Castiel murmured softly. It was Dean’s turn to blush at the very public display, but after the couple of days they’d had, he really didn’t care what other people thought of him. Let them mock Dean behind his back, Hell let them mock him to his face; Dean would just flip them the bird and kiss Castiel like they were the only two people in the world. And right now? It felt like the rest of the world had fallen away until they were the only ones.  
Sam cleared his throat, breaking the suddenly awkward moment. It was going to be hard getting used to Dean being all lovey-dovey around the bunker. “You know that once we get home, you two will have to tone it down a bit. We don’t need to be scarring Charlie for life,” Sam remarked with a chuckle.  
“Hey, it’s not anything I haven’t seen before. But anything past first base and you take that into the bedroom. Got it?” Charlie smirked, lifting the tension and awkwardness from the room. They sat back and ate in silence, each to their own thoughts. Except of course, for Dean and Castiel, who couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Now that Dean was being true to who he was, He could allow himself to be happy for the first time in a long time.  
“Should we take a look at the surveillance footage now?” Charlie asked, broaching the subject cautiously. And rightfully so, because Castiel paled considerably at the words.  
“S-sure Ch-Charlie. I-I’m n-not sure h-how m-much help I-I’ll b-be,” Castiel replied.  
Charlie grabbed the hard drive and the laptop from her bag and sat down on the opposite edge of the bed from Dean. She powered on the computer and plugged in the drive. A video popped up on the screen and Charlie enlarged it so it filled the whole screen. The four of them huddled around the computer as the video began with a bit of static. It showed the car Castiel had borrowed as it pulled to the side of the road. A black SUV pulled in behind a few minutes later and four people got out, three men and a woman. Dean gasped audibly as the bald older man turned towards the camera.  
“That’s Zachariah! He’s behind this?” Dean shouted. Castiel paled even more, his skin ashen and it looked as though he was going to be sick.  
“I can’t identify any of the other people in the video,” Sam remarked. “Maybe we should get Alexandria or Gadreel in here and see if they can.” He left the room without another word, intent on finding out the identity of the other assailants in the video. Sam would go to the ends of the Earth to find those responsible.  
Sam returned a few minutes later with both Alexandria hot on his heels. “Sam says you need my help?” She pondered as she stepped up beside the bed.  
Castiel nodded, pointing to the computer screen. “W-we n-need t-to f-find out who these p-people are.”  
Alexandria watched the video for a moment, eyes widening as she saw the true faces of the people. “That’s Zachariah and the woman is Naomi. And oh my, is that? It’s Raphael and … and Samara,” She gasped, hand flying to her mouth in shock. “Why would Samara do such a thing?”  
Dean stood suddenly, rage filling his entire being. “I’m gonna slaughter her!” He shouted as he raced from the room, intent on tracking down Samara. Sam, Charlie nor Alexandria made a move to stop him. They all felt the same way; Samara would pay for her betrayal with blood.  
“Bring her back here alive, Dean! I want to see her die!” Alexandria shouted at his retreating form. She turned back towards Castiel, stroking a gentle hand over his forehead. “I promise I will go to Heaven and demand Naomi and Zachariah return your Grace. I will not leave until I have it.”  
“Th-there had b-been t-talks about c-closing the g-gates for s-s-some t-time now. B-but I had n-never t-taken it s-seriously b-before. J-just s-some lower l-level angels t-talking a b-big g-game,” Castiel remarked.  
“It’s not your fault Castiel. How were any of us supposed to know what Naomi and Zachariah had planned?” Alexandria said softly. “We should’ve been paying more attention to those rumors. I’d heard them myself, but never thought someone would actually try to go through with it.”  
“Get your hands off me Winchester! Who do you think you are?!” Samara’s shouts of protest echoed from down the hall, growing louder as they reached Castiel’s room.  
“Shut up!” Dean growled. “You don’t get to ask the questions around here.” Dean tossed Samara into the room, slamming the door behind him.  
Alexandria grabbed Samara by the hair, hauling the Angel to her feet. “Stealing another Angel’s Grace?! How could you sink so low Samara? How you could betray us all like that?! You could’ve killed him! How dare you do that and then act like a saint! How can you stand yourself?! Answer me!”  
Samara sneered. “I do not answer to you anymore Alexandria. Naomi and Zachariah have shown me the light; now I know what our Father has planned for me. I am to be a beacon of hope for our brothers and sisters who have strayed. I am to bring the wanderers back to the flock and rid us of those who do not return. Father spoke to me and commanded I aid in striking down Castiel before he could bring about our end. It is what I have to do.”  
Samara shoved Alexandria away, grabbing the other Angel’s blade from her coat. She stalked towards Castiel, raising the blade high above her head. “I do this for you, Father!”  
“No!” Dean shouted. He raced forward, sticking his own Angel blade through Samara’s heart. There was a bright flash of light and when it cleared, Samara’s empty vessel slumped to the ground.


	12. Oh My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! I didn't realize I hadn't updated this story in almost a year! I've just gotten stuck with moving the plot forward and it's been rough going. Between getting sick and getting injured, it's been hard to update all of my stories consistently.
> 
> -Stacey

“Th-thank you D-Dean,” Castiel remarked, breaking the silence that had descended on the room. Everyone stared down at Samara's empty vessel.

“She’d been compromised,” Alexandria stated. “If you hadn’t put her down Dean, she would’ve snapped and attacked all of our brothers and sisters. You did what any of us would do. We thank you for everything you have done for not only us, but for our brother Castiel. He is in good hands with you Dean Winchester.”

Dean blushed. He didn’t understand why everyone was making such a big fuss over him ganking Samara; he was just doing his job. “It was no big deal guys … just doing my job.” Dean was starting to get just a bit uncomfortable with all the attention on him.

Castiel nodded, but didn’t say another word. He could see how uncomfortable Dean was becoming, and didn’t want to draw attention towards that. Dean had never been one to enjoy having a spotlight on him.

“How do we know Gadreel isn’t working for them too? This whole place could be compromised,” Charlie stated. She drifted to Castiel’s bed, placing herself between it and the door. “We need to get him out of here. I trust Alexandria; she hasn’t given us any reason to doubt her. But we don’t know how many Angels Samara told that Cas was here and vulnerable. What about that house Lyndsey showed you? You guys could go and ward it and then we can bring Castiel there.”

“That’s a great idea Charlie. We could ward it against angels too and only let Alexandria in,” Sam replied. “Dean, you stay here with Castiel and I’ll take Charlie with me. There’s no time like the present for her to learn how to do proper warding.”

Dean nodded. “That sounds like a plan to me. You two should get going now. I want to get Cas out of here as soon as possible. Call when it’s safe to bring Cas there.”

Sam and Charlie left the room, already discussing the proper way to place protective warding in a house and which ones would be best to protect Castiel. Dean watched them leave, smiling and knowing Castiel would be safe while he recovered.

“I c-can’t w-w-wait to g-get out of h-here,” Castiel murmured, turning towards Dean.

“I know what you mean Cas. I’ve hated hospitals ever since I was a kid, and I’d much rather have you in a place I know is safe,” Dean remarked, pressing a gentle kiss to Castiel’s temple. “I promise I’m going to find them and make them pay. They’ll never hurt another person ever again. They’ll never hurt another person ever again. They’ll never hurt you ever again.”

“D-does th-that m-mean you’re g-going t-to leave?” Castiel asked, eyes burning as he quickly blinked away tears. It was stupid of him to think that Dean was going to stick around for the months or even years that it would take to heal. Dean was a hunter, a nomad; every time he’d tried to settle down in the past, he got antsy within a few weeks and split.

Dean stared at Cas with wide eyes, confusion plainly written on his face. “Why in the world would I leave?” He wondered. “Oh Cas, I would never leave you alone when you couldn’t protect yourself. I won’t lie and say it’ll be easy for me to actually stay in one place for such a long time, you know that’s not the type of person I was raised as. But you’re family, and family sticks together no matter what. On the off chance that I did leave, it would only be for a day or two at the most, and only to get revenge on that junkless douchebag Zachariah and that bitch Naomi.”

Dean’s words caused the dam to burst and Castiel broke down in sobs. The world around him was blurry and he buried his face in his hands. Dean acted fast, climbing up onto the bed and pulling Cas into his arms, letting the former angel cry into his chest. Castiel clutched fistfuls of Dean’s shirt tightly, anchoring himself in the emotional storm that had been brewing in his head and heart for a long time coming.

“Shh, it’s okay. I got you baby. You’re safe. I’m here,” Dean murmured softly, trailing fingers slowly up and down Castiel’s arm. Castiel hiccupped as he continued to let out heart-wrenching wails, soaking the fabric of Dean’s shirt. Castiel hadn’t realized that even as a broken human, he was still wanted. Dean still wanted him.

Dean held Cas through it all, not letting go even after the majority of the tears had stopped falling and the sobs had quieted to whimpers. Castiel slumped against Dean’s chest, letting the hunter take his weight when exhaustion made his body heavy. "It's okay Cas. You can sleep. I'll watch over you."


End file.
